Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Boss

I don't really like the mom I became today. I think I've fallen into the trap of micro-management. I used to work for this boss who was a HUGE micro-manager. She would freak out over the tiniest things and would shoot emails at us all day reminding us to not do this or that. It was like the more out of control she felt, the more she tried to manage her employees. And of course, the more we felt managed, the more we tried not to be. Well, this was my house today.

I think bringing Princess #4 home has certainly pushed me in the direction of micro-management somewhat. I mean, when it's 4 on 1, and 1 is the one that's supposed to be in control, there's bound to be a little bit of obsessive controlling. I think (hope?) that's completely normal. I also believe I'm pre-wired to be this way. I have the lovely affliction of "mom's foresight", which allows me to imagine every possible thing that might happen to one of my offspring as a result of something they are doing at any given moment. And because I really don't want to have to clean up a huge mess, or bandage skinned knees or numerous other things I'd prefer to avoid, I tend to find myself spending a good chunk of the day saying things like "don't run in circles, sit still, watch where you're going, stop bugging your sister, listen to me, be quiet, slow down, etc. etc. etc. Funny thing is, it seems the more I say those things and the louder I get, the less the Princesses seem to take notice. Much like myself when I used to delete my boss' micro-management emails without even reading them.

So, I'm struggling to walk the fine line between maintaining order in my home and keeping my Princesses safe, and yet not micro-manage them to the point where it's no fun being a kid at our house because you can't ever run, get dirty or make a mess. My challenge to myself in the next few days is to lighten up a bit, to remember what it felt like to be micro-managed, and to let my kids just be kids. I can always clean up the messes later.

1 comment:

  1. A good reminder for all of us moms (and wives...hehe) and and a very honest self-reflection! Thanks for your vulnerability in your blog -- I think we can all relate. I know I can.

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