A Love Story

They say the third time's the charm.

For hubs and I, this was definitely the case.

FIRST

We met the summer before my Senior year in High School.  He was getting ready to enter his last year of college.  I was in Phoenix, in the scorching heat of July, just one in a group of hundreds (thousands?) of teens.  We converged there with our youth groups from all over the US and Canada for a week long camp of sorts.  Several colleges and Universities had their representatives there, ready to recruit.  Hubs was one of those recruiters - paid to talk about the school, sing with a swoon-worthy voice, look good and, well let's face it, flirt with potential female students.

I fell for it.  Hook.  Line.  Sinker.

He doesn't even remember meeting me.  (hmmph)

The boy band.  Remember, this was like, 1995.  Hubs is the cutie in red plaid.

Fast forward two years.

SECOND

The summer after my Freshman year in College (HIS college).  I was now travelling as one of those recruiters.  My group and I were spending the weekend in Dallas, performing at a local church.  The speaker that morning was this young guy, who had just returned from a year long mission in Bulgaria.  With long scraggly hair and a goatee,  he looked quite a bit like Jesus.  Following the service we all went out to lunch together.  He sat near me and flirted with the other girl in my group.  I didn't give him a second look and spent the lunch wondering if a guy I had met at camp a week earlier was going to call.

Clearly, things weren't going well.

Jesus - hubs in Paris.  Now that I look at it, he's kinda sexy with long hair...

THIRD

6 months later, I was in the middle of my Sophomore year, fresh off a breakup (with camp guy) and my school was in full Homecoming swing.  Quite unlike me, I headed out to the basketball game alone, just desperate to get out of my dorm. Sitting in the stands alone, I started chatting with a couple sitting in front of me who had returned for Homecoming.  They were on staff at the church I had been at in Dallas 6 months earlier.  Sitting next to them was a guy who was vaguely familiar and yet not.  We started talking.  We put two and two together.

I couldn't believe it.  This clean cut, yummy smelling, gorgeous guy with puppy dog brown eyes and amazing lips was the scraggly headed Jesus dude.

He cleaned up good.

We were inseparable for the rest of the week.  I took extra care getting ready for classes (no more rolling out of bed in my pj's for my 8am class), timing my walks across campus so I'd "accidentally" bump into him.  I'm pretty sure he hung around campus a bit more than he would have, lingering in the music building where many of my classes were and one time even showing up in the cafeteria right at my lunch time.

We went on our first official date that week - to a band concert on campus and a coffee shop afterwards - where we proceeded to sit and talk for an hour past closing time.  Oops.  Things were quickly falling into place.  It seemed perfect.

hubs and I taking a train ride through the Bulgarian countryside

It wasn't all a clear course though.  A major hurdle stood in our way.  The year following his graduation from college he spent a year in volunteer missions in the country of Bulgaria.  He loved it so much he returned home for 6 months to raise money to go back.  Enter me.  At the time we met, went on our first date, shared our first kiss, he was a mere weeks from returning to Bulgaria - 5888 miles away from me.

What to do?  We had only "known" each other for a week.  A long distance relationship was a pretty big commitment to make based on only a week of interaction.  Especially given the year (1997).  This was pre-Facebook, pre-Instant Messaging, pre-Texting, pre-Skyping, pre-EVERYTHING except email and phone calls.

Pretending to not be sad as hubs prepared to board a plane back to Bulgaria for a year.

And yet, we KNEW.  It was right.  It just was.  Crazy, yes.  But totally right.  So we jumped in.  And for the next 2 years we forged a relationship via a constant stream of emails, planned phone calls (we were 8 hours apart and paid about $0.42 per minute) and brief visits (twice with him returning home over Christmas and once with me visiting him in Bulgaria).

And in December of 1999 we were separated no longer.  All the months of speaking only once a week for 20 minutes at a time, all the hours spent on the computer typing letters and one-sided conversations, all the lonely nights wishing my boyfriend were with me, it was all worth it.

Hubs and I on our honeymoon.  Separated no longer.

It may have taken us a bit to get the timing right, but the third time was definitely the charm.

This post is linked up with A Sorta Fairytale's You And Your Valentine Party!  

Love Is Many Things

Love is loyal

Love is trust

Love is faith

Love is without limit

Love is renewing

Love is immeasurable

Love is...

wrapped up in the first moment my two loves meet.

this post is linked up with the lovely Jhen

This Isn't FUN Anymore

Hubs and I enjoying an evening at the coffee shop we went to on our first date, 13 years ago

Recently I've started hosting a small group of women in my home one morning a week.  We come from all walks of life and backgrounds.  Some have been married less than a year, others are nearing their 30th anniversary.  Some are in the throes of child-rearing, others are staring at their empty nest and wondering what to do now.  We meet to eat (of course), chat (of course) and to read God's Word and challenge each other to continue to grow and learn.

Yesterday we changed it up a bit.  With Valentine's Day fast approaching, we chose to read a chapter from the book, 'A Wife After God's Own Heart' by Elizabeth George.  I've read this book before in Bible study settings, and I have to be honest, I struggle with alot of what she talks about.  She addresses many of the issues that arise in a marriage, and many of her suggestions feel counter-cultural to our norm.  I may struggle with her thoughts, but then again, our culture is boasting a 50% divorce rate, so maybe she's on to something...

Anyway, I digress.  Back to yesterday.  We read a chapter titled Making Time For Fun.  Yeah, I know.  What's fun, right?  When I was skimming through the book trying to decide what chapter to discuss I knew we had to do this one.  Because it's right where hubs and I are at right now.

That's probably not a huge shock.  I mean, we've got four kids.  A mortgage.  A job.  Debt.  Just... reality.  And there's nothing like a little reality to suck the fun out of anything, right?

The book encouraged us to think back to the early days of courtship, to remember the hours spent talking about nothing in particular, remember the feeling of never wanting to be apart, remember the fun that happened when there were no responsibilities, no realities pulling in different directions, nothing but the endless expanse of hope and love and romance.

Sigh.  Oh to have that back again.

So how do you reclaim that?  Whether you've been married 5 years or 50, chances are reality has sucked the fun out of your marriage at one point or another.  How do you stop that vacuum?  Here are a few suggestions made in the book and some that came up in our discussion yesterday:

1.  Plan one fun activity a week  This is a hard one, especially when you have little kids and an even littler budget.  At first glance I tend to think, "yeah, this isn't going to happen".  But as a lady in my home pointed out yesterday, it can happen with just a little forethought and planning.  One of my big downfalls is that I like hubs to dream up the "fun" thing we're going to do.  For some reason it means more to me if I don't have to tell him what I'd like to do.  Maybe it's a throw-back to the dating relationship when the guy always planned the date, I don't know.  Whatever the case, it's a pitfall for us because honestly hubs just doesn't have time to think up elaborate date nights anymore.  It doesn't mean he doesn't love me, it just means he's busy.  But sometimes even knowing that I can get resentful.  So here's the solution that I can't wait to try:  Create a date jar.  Every month sit down together and decide on a few activities that you would both enjoy and that your budget would allow.  Write each down on a piece of paper and put the papers in the jar.  Then, on your designated "date night", draw a date out of the jar and let serendipity decide.  I love this idea because the pressure is off to come up with something fun to do, and there's still an element of surprise.

2.  Choose a couple hobby  I think so often we focus on our own hobbies, things that allow us to escape from our realities.  But all too often our hobbies don't include each other.  Think back to when you were dating.  Tell me you didn't feign interest at some point in something your hubs (or wife) to be was interested in.  Well, stop pretending!  Taking an interest in something your spouse enjoys opens up a whole new world of conversations and common ground.  Or, if there's really nothing your spouse enjoys that you can get on board with, find a new hobby together.  It doesn't have to be anything major.    For example, hubs and I have recently discovered that we enjoy reading the same book at the same time.  We read the Twilight series together and I was amazed at the amount of new and fresh conversation that was born out of that.  And the deeper the book, the deeper the conversation.  It's a great way to learn new things about each other and to find things to talk about that don't include the words "kids", "diaper" and "poop".

3.  Cook together  I know this is not always an option.  With hubs' work schedule we are often not together at mealtime.  But when we are able to intersect, cooking together brings a surprising amount of intimacy.  Whoever said sex starts in the kitchen was not lying!  Now before you head to the gutter, just think about it.  Cooking requires a certain amount of timing and efficiency.  When you cook together, you have to communicate, you have to work together.  You have to be in sync.  That is intimacy.  And that leads to intimacy elsewhere.  Plus, if hubs burns the veggies you've got something to tease him about later.  You can even extend this intimacy to dishwashing.  Our dishwasher recently decided to stop cleaning dishes, so we've been washing alot of dishes by hand.  I've actually come to look forward to those times with hubs, washing and drying and talking.  Sometimes I think a potentially aggravating situation (ie, a dishwasher breaking) can create moments to connect on a whole new level.

4.  Don't wait until "date night" to connect  This was really profound for me.  In discussing this chapter with the women in my home, one woman who has been married nearly 30 years brought up this point.  And in thinking about it I realized how important it is.  We hear so much about taking time for your spouse, scheduling date nights and the importance of them.  But if you're not connecting on a daily basis, then once date night rolls around you are going to have nothing to talk about.  One lady in my group spoke of how she and her husband have a table that they meet at every morning and every evening.  They share coffee, read their Bibles, pray and discuss their days.  They begin and end every single day at that table.  Obviously, in the real world you can't spend every waking second with your spouse like you did when you were dating.  But I love this example of beginning and ending the day together.  What a awesome way to stay connected and involved in one another's lives.  I can't wait to try this in my own marriage.

So there you go.  Reclaim that fun, recapture that romance, reignite that passion!

My friends, are you fighting the fun vacuum?  Do you have ideas for finding fun again?  What do you do to keep things fresh?

Push Bars and Minnie Mouse: Birthday Musings

School is cancelled for a 6th day in a row.

Whatev.

Snow, schmow.  Right?  Another foot?  Bring it on!

Moving on to more important matters, like...

Princess #4's SECOND birthday!!

It's coming up fast folks.  One week from today my baby will be TWO.  Doesn't hardly seem possible.  I'm officially out of the baby stage.

*sob*

Don't ask me how I feel about that just yet.  I might dissolve into a puddle.  I'll save that for another sappy post at another sappy time.

In the meantime, let's discuss DETAILS!

Princess #4 loves Minnie Mouse.

Loooooooooooooooves her.

So of course we are having a Minnie Mouse party fit for a two year old.

I have this on it's way from oldnavy.com for her to wear:

Since Minnie is wearing pink and green we'll keep with that theme for the rest of the party.  I'm still thinking about decorations and food.  Probably should kick the thinking into high gear...

The real thing I'm mulling over is her present.  Two things I know:

1.  Since she's her own person, princess #4 deserves to have her own toys.  

2.  We have way.too.many.toys

So I'm thinking instead of buying a whole bunch more STUFF that will eventually end up lost or broken or worse yet - under my FEET, we're going to instead get her ONE big useful thing she'll love.  This sounds like a very responsible and practical thing to do, and I'll let you think that.  But the reality is that we do this to keep the crap in our house down to a minimum and to make life easier on us.

Just keepin' it real.

So, in the name of practicality, we're shopping for a tricycle.

We do have a tricycle already.  A cute lil red radio flyer.  It's adorable.  We've had it since Princess #2 turned one.  And none of our girls have been able to ride it.

Once they're the right size to fit on it (meaning about age 2), they are still too little to pedal.  Or steer.  Or do both simultaneously.  This means that in order for it to go anywhere, mom or dad has to lean over (WAY over since it's about 2 feet off the ground) and push it.

Not my idea of fun.  Especially when I'm trying to keep track of 3 other princesses careening down the sidewalk on their training wheels.

Enter the most ingenious invention to ever be thought up:  The parent steering push bar.

Um hello?  How brilliant is this?  I'm absolutely giddy at the thought of not only being able to push Princess #4 down the street behind her careening sisters on bikes, but also STEER her as well.  Geez, it might as well be my birthday I'm so excited!  Add to this the handy little 3 point harness available from Kettler and what we've got on our hands is a stroller in disguise.  Perfect for my little copycat who insists on doing everything like her sisters.

I can't wait for it to get here.  It may be months before we can actually SEE the sidewalk for her to ride it, but we'll be ready!

This Is Not A Craft Blog

School is cancelled today for the 5th day in a row (not counting the weekend).

I was lamenting the most recent cancellation on Facebook when a friend of mine suggested I do a blog post on activities to keep kids busy during the unending snow days.

Excuse me while I go laugh my hiney off.

Oh how I wish I was that kind of mom.  I actually really truly have guilt about this.  Here my kids have been home in the middle of the school year for 7 days straight and we haven't done one real activity.  Not one.  Something's wrong with that right?  I see people like Jill (whose blog I ADORE) and wish I had more creative bones in my body.

But I just don't.  Even if I had known that the little snowfall we were supposed to get last Monday night was going to turn into what has so lovingly been dubbed "Snowpocaplypse 2011", I don't think I would have gone out and armed myself with glitter glue, pompoms, felt, pipe cleaners and/or every other crafty thing a person might need.  It's just not on my radar.  I'm too busy worrying about how we're going to get more milk, whether or not we have enough toilet paper to wipe 6 tushies and why in the world did my dishwasher decided to stop washing NOW?

So I'm trying to come to terms with this.  I'm actually feeling a bit vulnerable about it right now, like somehow I'm failing my girls in some way by not being Mommy Stewart.  I'm not sure why I got it in my head that in order to be a good mommy one not only has to be able to kiss booboos and cook good food but also must have unending resources in craftiness.  Am I holding myself to too high of a standard?  If my kids are happy, is it ok that we're not gluing things every day?

I've done plenty of Barbie dressing, game playing and story reading in the last 7 days.  I even managed to bake a batch of homemade cinnamon rolls.

You know you want'em

I'm also totally planning on surprising my girls with these Coffee Mug Cakes later today.  We might even make Jill's Lava Bottles if I can scrounge up the supplies.  So I'm trying.  But I also need it to be ok if I don't try.  I've said before that the best thing I can be for my kids is me.  So that's what I'm striving to be.  Clearly, I have moments where I wonder if that's enough.  I sure hope it is.