Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Perfect Homemaker

Ugh, why do I just not feel like blogging lately?  I'm in less of a funk these days, but still not 100%.  My parents are visiting right now, which is good and bad at the same time.  I love my mom and dad.  I have a great relationship with them.  But I am very very different from my mother, and in alot of ways I feel very inadequate when I'm around her.  

She's "SUPER housewife".  You know, the kind that has the clean dishes emptied from the dishwasher before they've stopped steaming from the heat.  The kind that only has about a days worth of dirty laundry sitting in the laundry baskets at any given moment.  The kind that plans meals way in advance and always has a pantry full of food.  Seriously, I used to make fun of her because before she could leave the house she had to make sure the cushions on the couch were straight.  Contrast that with me - who's lucky if I remembered to turn the dishwasher on before going to bed.  Who's seriously lucky if I can go a week without the laundry monster taking over my house.  The kind who waits until about 5:30 to worry about what to eat and then opens up the empty pantry and announces it's cereal for dinner night!  And couch cushions?  They make GREAT trampolines on the floor for the Princesses.

Now, on most days, I'm very comfortable with my housekeeping skills.  No, my house is not spotless, there will always be a toy underfoot.  Often there are dirty dishes sitting in the sink.  And there is ALWAYS laundry to be done.  But for the most part, no one complains and I feel like I'm doing my best.  But when my mom comes to visit...  I dunno.  I know she's just trying to help.  But the first thing she does is inspect my refrigerator and pantry and make out a shopping list.  Then she tackles the laundry.  And it's not at all uncommon for her to begin reorganizing my tupperware drawer or my linen closet, just for kicks. 

Why does this make me feel so much like a failure as a homemaker?  I mean, I know my reality.   I have 3 small children.  I work part-time outside the home.   My husband is not a neat-freak and thus I have no pressure to keep a perfect house.  I don't need to hold myself to such high standards.  I am not my mom.  And I really don't think that my mom does these things to make me feel badly.  She's really doing it out of the goodness of her heart and because it's her gift.  I know I need to just get over myself.  Stop feeling sorry for myself.  Let my mom love on me this way and stop taking it so personally.


  1. I love you! Your last paragraph is exactly what I was going to say to you but it sounds like you've already said it to you for me! lol It's so hard to be a mommy and run a house. You also have to remember that you were an only child for a looooong time. By the time you were old enough to help out and have chores, along came your brother...it's not like she had three all under 5 like you do. So take it easy on yourself, my friend! And know that you feel the same way all of us other young moms do...we're all doing the best we can. HUGS!!!

  2. my mom and my mother in law both do this too. And like you I know they aren't doing it to be mean but man it does hurt huh. I have personally made a note to figure out how to not make this an issue between my daughter and me when she is grown and has a house of her own.

  3. You're such a good mommy! Your kids could care less if the house is clean! xoxo, m

  4. Our Moms want to know that they are still important in our lives; they need to feel needed. I, too, must remember that it's really about them and not us. Help them by saying, "thank you".


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