Keep the candle burnin'

I'm burning a candle tonight. It's sitting on my end table right next to the couch. This may seem inconsequential, but this is HUGE. Before children (shall we call this time BC?) I had candles all over the place. I'm a huge fan of fall scented candles - pumpkin spice, harvest, cinnamon rolls, autumn leaves, etc. I used to have them everywhere. The fireplace mantle, the kitchen counter, the bathroom - everywhere. There's just something homey and welcoming about candles burning.

Well, quite obviously, kids and candles don't mix. I was stubborn for awhile, after princess #1 was born. I kept them out of her way but of course at first it wasn't a huge issue since she didn't start crawling until she was 8 months old. Once that age hit though, my candle burning era started coming to a close. I resisted as long as possible, but slowly over time the candles started disappearing. It just wasn't worth it. It's amazing how having kids infiltrates every corner of your being and consumes even the smallest detail. I'm not sure that getting rid of candles was even a conscious decision. It just happened. It made sense that in a home with 4 little ones running around, candles weren't a good decorating accent.

All that to say, I received some wonderful fall scented candles for my birthday (which was yesterday, by the way) from my work. I debated setting them out on my desk and lighting them for the few brief hours I was there, but decided instead to take them home. Of course I walked in the door and immediately fell into "mommy mode" and the candles sat in their gift bag unopened on my bed all afternoon and evening. But tonight, once the 4 littles were all tucked away and sleeping soundly, I carefully unwrapped each one and decided to light the pumpkin spice candle first. And so it sits, proudly on my little end table next to my couch, well within reach of little fingers (that are fast asleep in their beds), and my house smells like pumpkin pie... at least for a little while.

I don't know how you do it!

There is this sweet lady we run into regularly, and it never fails that when we engage her in conversation she inevitably will make the statement: "I don't know how you do it!". I "think" she means it as a compliment, like I'm accomplishing something spectacular... I'm never really sure how to answer her so I usually laugh it off with a "I don't know either!". I laugh it off, but inside I'm frantically taking stock: Is my shirt on inside out? Did I remember to brush my teeth? Did I forget to put eyeliner on BOTH eyes? Can she see I'm actually just barely holding on by my fingertips? I mean, I get it. One look at me and my 4 princesses out and about and I'd probably have the same thoughts about me!

But the truth is, I think I DO know how I do it. I mean, not specifically, but overall - yeah. I know how. I do it because it's LIFE. It's my life. It's not like I can wake up in the morning and tell princess #2 who is climbing in my side of the bed at 6 am begging for breakfast that I'm sorry, I'm not doing it today. She'll have to ask someone else (and oh how at times I've dreamt that I could!). I don't know anything different. Most days, being mommy to 4 princesses isn't overwhelming to me because it's what I DO, every.single.day. And I really don't feel like I'm doing anything spectacular as I nuke 15 chicken nuggets for dinner or change a dozen diapers in a day. The fact that we run from one activity to the next on a daily basis is tiring, yes, but still... normal somehow. It almost makes me feel uncomfortable to be regarded as doing something remarkable. I mean really, how remarkable can cleaning dried boogers off a dirty face be?

So then I have to stop and force myself to really take a look at what's going on in our home. Past the chicken nuggets, diapers and boogers. Past what I see day in and day out, and to what people from the outside looking in see. I think it's so easy for me to get caught up in the small, mundane details that make up my life, that I often fail to see the big picture. And I end up selling myself short. Because where I see normalcy, others see extraordinary. Not everyone gets the privilege of raising 4 princesses. Sometimes I need to take a step back and recognize the incredible gift we've been given, and see how truly remarkable that is.

PS - if you do happen to notice me wearing my shirt inside out, please let me know. I may be doing something extraordinary, but I AM still the mommy to 4 princesses. Alot can happen to my brain cells between getting out of bed and getting dressed!

Random

I wish I had more to blog about these days. My life just seems so repetitious that I'm not finding much exciting I guess. Just the same routine, over and over. The expanse of summer stretching out in front of us. I'm tired... and HOT. Dang is it hot here! It's been officially summer all of 2 days and it's already over 100. Ugh.

Let's see, surely there's some news...

Oh, Princess #4, at the ripe old age of 4 months, sprouted TWO TEETH. Seriously? It's sort of ridiculous. If you're not familiar with babies' teething patterns, most usually START teething around 4 months but rarely will you see a pearly white before 8 months old. At least with my princesses. But no, Princess #4 thought she'd change it up. Makes nursing fun. Oh yeah.

She's rolling too. Front to back and back to front. It's funny, I remember how insanely excited I was when Princess #1 learned this new trick. Now, not so much. Princess #4 does not enjoy being on her belly. And yet she continues to roll. Protesting all the time. She doesn't seem to understand that SHE is the one in charge of her rolling. No one is doing it for her. I think she'll get it soon.

She has figured out how to bat at the little toys hanging from her Dream Meadow (side note - this is the coolest thing ever. Babies don't need battery operated/light flashing/noise making toys. Simplify.). She grabs at the little wooden rattles and hold on for dear life. It's quite funny actually. She's got good aim.

We still have made absolutely no progress on her taking a pacifier and I've pretty much given up. I was so smug when I only had one Princess. We waited until the book-dictated age of 4 weeks to give her the paci, thinking it would cause her to be less addicted and of course not cause nipple confusion. It worked I guess. She used it casually on and off until she was 8 months old when we successfully weaned her off of it. Oh yeah, we were awesome parents. No 2 year old in our house walking around talking behind a paci! Then came Princess #2. Colicky, spitty, fussy, the works. I learned what a glorious wonder a paci could be and sang it's praises. She only used it to sleep, but that was enough. By the time Princess #3 came along I was all about The Paci. I shoved that sucker in her mouth every chance I could. And yes, she is now 2 and still sleeps with it. And I don't care. So here I am with Princess #4 and I only WISH I could get her to take it. Let's face it. I can only be in one place at a time. I think her life (and mine) would be much happier if she'd allow herself to be soothed by something other than me. It's ok, because she's my baby and I'll gladly be her personal paci, but you know... sometimes...

Ok, this was all so random. My mind is everywhere tonight. But there ya go.

2000 What?

Princess #1: "Mommy, when were you born?"

Me: "September"

Princess #1: "No, I mean WHEN. Like... 2000 what?"

Me: "uh..."

And for the first time I REALLY felt old. And speaking of old (haha!), today is hubby's birthday. You know when you end up with 4 little kids, birthdays just aren't about you anymore. Not even your own, not really.

At the princesses' request, we woke Daddy with breakfast in bed (of course, Your Majesty was sure to "pre-wake" Daddy, so he wouldn't growl or be cranky when the princesses climbed up on top of him). Following french toast we showered daddy with his presents. He is now the proud owner of a new box of crayons and a giant Star Wars coloring book, LOL. The princesses were so proud. Then we headed out to see "Up" in the theater. Cute movie, um, a little deep for the princesses (and scary according to princess #2). And then it was on to dinner (pizza of course - the only meal all the princesses eat well) and then cake at home complete with Star Wars plates, napkins and cups. I have to admit it was a little fun shopping on the boy's side of the party aisle for once!

And now I'm watching hubby play Uno with princess #1 and #2. He's such a good daddy. It's not always easy to accept that birthdays just aren't as big a deal as they used to be. Even harder when you realize it's because you're getting OLDER. So it's special having princesses in your life to share birthdays with - they make it a BIG DEAL. Even if all you get is a box of crayons and a kid's movie.

(For the record, Your Majesty did get hubby some new cologne and tickets to see 'Wicked' next month. So, not JUST crayons...)

Hi!

I haven't fallen off the face of the Planet, I promise. Life is crazy hectic. Summer is upon us. I'll be back. Soon.