Friday, September 10, 2010
And This Is Why Charlotte's Web Is Ruined For Me
Did you ever see the live action remake of Charlotte's Web from a few years ago? You know, the one that starred Dakota Fanning before her vampire days? Cute flick. Adorable pig.
That scene at the end, where Wilbur is ecstatic as Charlotte's babies hatch and fly about the barn? That right there my friends is heebie jeebie worthy for sure. Hundreds upon hundreds of tiny baby spiders released upon an unsuspecting farm. Shudder.
And that was the scene at my house last night. There I was, just dutifully finishing my daily chores. I opened the back door to put a garbage bag out and discovered a HUGE spider sitting on my doorframe. Since I cannot stand the sensation of the crunch of an arachnid under my shoe, I quickly closed the door and searched for something suitable to do the dirty job with. I settled on a can of wasp spray. I figured if it didn't kill him it would at least get him to go away.
I returned to the back door and opened it to not one, but TWO huge spiders. I immediately unleashed the spray on the second spider that appeared during my absence.
You can imagine my sheer horror when I witnessed a scene worthy of the big screen: spilling out from that spider's back hundreds of tiny, baby spiders.
I'm itching just typing this.
And oh dear God do those things move fast! I think I may have emptied the entire can of wasp spray on the door frame.
Surely baby spiders can't crawl through a current of wasp spray? Right?
So Wilbur, I'm sorry. I think you're cute. And your story is wonderful. But I just can't watch your movie ever again. After seeing it played out right outside my back door, I have no desire to relive it.
I think a call to the bug guys is in order.
Posted by The Planet Pink at 7:30 AM