Friday, September 10, 2010

And This Is Why Charlotte's Web Is Ruined For Me

Did you ever see the live action remake of Charlotte's Web from a few years ago?  You know, the one that starred Dakota Fanning before her vampire days?  Cute flick.  Adorable pig.

Horrific spider.

That scene at the end, where Wilbur is ecstatic as Charlotte's babies hatch and fly about the barn?  That right there my friends is heebie jeebie worthy for sure.  Hundreds upon hundreds of tiny baby spiders released upon an unsuspecting farm.  Shudder.

And that was the scene at my house last night.  There I was, just dutifully finishing my daily chores.  I opened the back door to put a garbage bag out and discovered a HUGE spider sitting on my doorframe.   Since I cannot stand the sensation of the crunch of an arachnid under my shoe, I quickly closed the door and searched for something suitable to do the dirty job with.  I settled on a can of wasp spray.  I figured if it didn't kill him it would at least get him to go away.

I returned to the back door and opened it to not one, but TWO huge spiders.  I immediately unleashed the spray on the second spider that appeared during my absence.

You can imagine my sheer horror when I witnessed a scene worthy of the big screen:  spilling out from that spider's back hundreds of tiny, baby spiders.

I'm itching just typing this.

And oh dear God do those things move fast!  I think I may have emptied the entire can of wasp spray on the door frame.

Surely baby spiders can't crawl through a current of wasp spray?  Right?

So Wilbur, I'm sorry.  I think you're cute.  And your story is wonderful.  But I just can't watch your movie ever again.  After seeing it played out right outside my back door, I have no desire to relive it.

I think a call to the bug guys is in order.



  1. I am so behind at my commenting!! Sorry!!

    But I'm having an issue with spiders at my house! I'll come home sometime after it's dark & there will be like 7 spiders hanging around my windows & back door of my house. Then they started to look bigger & so after I read this I made my husband go out & kill all of them. I hate spiders. They really freak me out! This sounds horrifying.

  2. I did not see that movie. I loved the original and will make a note not to get that one. I used to take a glass and cover any bugs until my Dad came home to get rid of it. Now that I am mommy I have to take care of these things. I usually get a big shoe to do the trick! Thank you for your warm wishes. My daughter feels better today. Have a great night!

    Mama Hen

  3. I've come to love spiders since the girls named a huge spider that lived just outside my office window for a good part of the summer.

  4. OH my goodness, ewwww I would have totally freaked out, really? Ugghhhh I am getting the heebie jeebies right now typing this. Yeah now that movie is going to be seen in a different light. hahahaha

  5. Oh gross!! I feel your pain. I just found 2 black widows in my mail box the other day and 1 on my front door today. I am not going to leave my house for a bit!

    Thanks for the advice about my baby name. I have wondered if I should say something to her or not....

  6. UGH. I completely concur with all you've written. There is nothing that frightens me faster than seeing a spider in my home. I have an absolute phobia of them. I *believe* that they purposely seek me out. Crazy I know. But it seems there is always one near me big or small. UGH!! Thank you for the heads up on the movie. I will never watch it now.

  7. I hate spiders with a purple passion, but here lately, I've begun to tolerate them a little more. One lived right above my front door all summer long and ate mosquitos. We had a talk and I told that spider I would respect her space if she would respect mine and stay the heck out of my house. It's working for us so far. But yeah. Baby spiders near a doorway that leads indoors... that would freak me out too.

  8. AGH! I have chills just thinking of it. I've never watched that movie and I'm glad I have a bit of a heads up now.


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