Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Ruby Anniversary

Today (well, today for 2 more hours... it's been a busy day!) my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

Two things come to mind when I think about this:

The first is, geez.  I'm old.  I remember their 25th anniversary like it was yesterday.  It was the day of my highschool graduation.  Sigh.

The second thought is, as AMAZING as 40 years of marriage is, I wonder if we consider it more amazing now than we did when, say, my grandparents celebrated their 40th.  With the divorce rate in our country skyrocketing, it makes sense that we've lowered the bar on what's considered an accomplishment in terms of years of marriage.

Don't get me wrong, 40 years is phenomenal.  But sadly I almost fear that couples who can say they're celebrating their 40th are becoming an anomaly.  And I wish that weren't true.  I'd almost rather it not be considered a great feat of... whatever (patience, endurance, will power, sheer dumb luck) to make it to 40 years of marriage.  Instead I'd rather our society saw that as, well, a no brainer.  Because you know, most couples do say until death do us part, at least at some point.  So shouldn't it be common to see couples celebrating 40, 50, 60 years of marriage?

Please know there is no judgment in my words.  Just sadness that the state of marriage in our country is not as stated above.  Because I do think it could be.  As happy as I know my parents are to be celebrating their big milestone anniversary today, I think if you were to ask them they would also acknowledge that there was no doubt this day would come, and it's just another day in the journey they've chosen to walk together.

My friends, I know this post is idealistic and probably a bit naive, but that's ok.  I grew up watching what a strong, healthy marriage is supposed to look like, so perhaps those ideals have rubbed off on me.  I'm so grateful they have.  Happy Anniversary mom and dad.
PS.  My mom is going to totally kill me for posting this pic, but how cute is she in her wedding dress?!  40 years later it still fits!



  1.  First of all, I didn't know 40 was the "Ruby Anniversary". . .good to know, especially since I have a Ruby! Many ideas surrounding marriage today make me sad, and I don't think you are being idealistic.

    Sweet pic of your mom in her dress. It made me wonder about my mom. I'm not even sure what her wedding dress looked like. I need to find out.

  2. In two months we will be celebrating 17 years of marriage... hanging in there through good times and bad.
    Love the pic of your mom.
    ~ Mona : )

  3. I love this post and your heart for marriage!  CONGRATS to your parents because yes, though we wish it was a more common thing these days marriages aren't lasting that long anymore so it is special for sure.  I agree though, the vow I took I meant.  There are so many circumstances that end marriages and I too understand that but, the sad thing to me is that because divorce is so accepted and so common now it is so easy to end a marriage and sticking it out isn't worth it for people anymore.  Yes, it is sad indeed because some of my best years have been the ones right after a big hurdle.  Gotta press on and press through in sickness and in health.  Great post!

  4.  I think we should be a bit idealistic and naive. There is no reason that the number of couples that celebrate 40, 50 or 60 years other then people get "the grass is greener" syndrome. I realize there are true reasons for divorce but those reasons are far and few between what we are experiencing in the US. 

    Thank you for this lovely post. Huge congrats to your parents!

  5. Congrats to your parents on forty years! 

  6. Congrats to your parents! I love the pic of your mom. And great post, I agree with you.


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