Leave It To Hubs

Today so did not go the way I had planned.   I'll spare you the sordid details and instead just say one word:

Lice.

Uh huh.

*sob* *sob* *sob*

But before I was so RUDELY interrupted from my mindless Saturday morning perusing of Pinterest, I actually got a little crafty.

I'm sure if you have one eye and spend any time on the internet, you've noticed that subway art is all the rage these days.  I love it when I stumble upon freebies given away by some blogger with a golden heart. It makes my life so much easier.

But sometimes I can't find what I'm looking for downloadable for free.  And it's cool that people want to make money.  But I'm cheap.  So I decided to try my hand at making one myself.

My very favorite quote is by Victor Hugo, of the Les Miserables fame.  I have yet to see any subway art made using that particular quote.  AND, I have a blank space on my bathroom wall right above my toilet. So in my mind, I was going to make my own subway art, frame it and voila - free wall decoration.

OK, so are you ready to see it?

Ok.  Not as great as some of the ones I've seen on Pinterest, but not bad either right?  I was pretty darn pleased with myself.

So tonight, after dealing with the aforementioned hell on earth lice, I eagerly showed hubs my creation.

He read it through silently, while I described where I intended to hang it on the wall.  Then he repeated outloud:

"'Laboriously accomplished your daily task....'  you're putting this above the toilet?  The TOILET?"

BOYS.  *shaking head*


My dear friends, I do hope that you A) never ever have to deal with lice and B) have a boy in your house to keep things lively.  And keep you from placing quotes above the toilet that might be construed inappropriately.


PS.  In the dawn of fresh light I feel compelled to add that this whole blog post was possible last night because hubs demanded I sit at the computer and play around while he vacuumed all the carpets and furniture for me.  He's really a gem, that one.  

'Til There Was You

I never drank coffee in the morning,

I never quoted movies,

I never cleaned my ears after a shower,

I never liked guacamole,

I never listened to Sting,

I never flew overseas,

I never watched Star Wars,

I never liked to have my hair played with,

I never took goofy self portraits,

I never ate sushi,

I never danced in the living room,

I never worked out,
(wait, I still don't do that)

I never knew half of me,

'til there was you.

A Love Story

They say the third time's the charm.

For hubs and I, this was definitely the case.

FIRST

We met the summer before my Senior year in High School.  He was getting ready to enter his last year of college.  I was in Phoenix, in the scorching heat of July, just one in a group of hundreds (thousands?) of teens.  We converged there with our youth groups from all over the US and Canada for a week long camp of sorts.  Several colleges and Universities had their representatives there, ready to recruit.  Hubs was one of those recruiters - paid to talk about the school, sing with a swoon-worthy voice, look good and, well let's face it, flirt with potential female students.

I fell for it.  Hook.  Line.  Sinker.

He doesn't even remember meeting me.  (hmmph)

The boy band.  Remember, this was like, 1995.  Hubs is the cutie in red plaid.

Fast forward two years.

SECOND

The summer after my Freshman year in College (HIS college).  I was now travelling as one of those recruiters.  My group and I were spending the weekend in Dallas, performing at a local church.  The speaker that morning was this young guy, who had just returned from a year long mission in Bulgaria.  With long scraggly hair and a goatee,  he looked quite a bit like Jesus.  Following the service we all went out to lunch together.  He sat near me and flirted with the other girl in my group.  I didn't give him a second look and spent the lunch wondering if a guy I had met at camp a week earlier was going to call.

Clearly, things weren't going well.

Jesus - hubs in Paris.  Now that I look at it, he's kinda sexy with long hair...

THIRD

6 months later, I was in the middle of my Sophomore year, fresh off a breakup (with camp guy) and my school was in full Homecoming swing.  Quite unlike me, I headed out to the basketball game alone, just desperate to get out of my dorm. Sitting in the stands alone, I started chatting with a couple sitting in front of me who had returned for Homecoming.  They were on staff at the church I had been at in Dallas 6 months earlier.  Sitting next to them was a guy who was vaguely familiar and yet not.  We started talking.  We put two and two together.

I couldn't believe it.  This clean cut, yummy smelling, gorgeous guy with puppy dog brown eyes and amazing lips was the scraggly headed Jesus dude.

He cleaned up good.

We were inseparable for the rest of the week.  I took extra care getting ready for classes (no more rolling out of bed in my pj's for my 8am class), timing my walks across campus so I'd "accidentally" bump into him.  I'm pretty sure he hung around campus a bit more than he would have, lingering in the music building where many of my classes were and one time even showing up in the cafeteria right at my lunch time.

We went on our first official date that week - to a band concert on campus and a coffee shop afterwards - where we proceeded to sit and talk for an hour past closing time.  Oops.  Things were quickly falling into place.  It seemed perfect.

hubs and I taking a train ride through the Bulgarian countryside

It wasn't all a clear course though.  A major hurdle stood in our way.  The year following his graduation from college he spent a year in volunteer missions in the country of Bulgaria.  He loved it so much he returned home for 6 months to raise money to go back.  Enter me.  At the time we met, went on our first date, shared our first kiss, he was a mere weeks from returning to Bulgaria - 5888 miles away from me.

What to do?  We had only "known" each other for a week.  A long distance relationship was a pretty big commitment to make based on only a week of interaction.  Especially given the year (1997).  This was pre-Facebook, pre-Instant Messaging, pre-Texting, pre-Skyping, pre-EVERYTHING except email and phone calls.

Pretending to not be sad as hubs prepared to board a plane back to Bulgaria for a year.

And yet, we KNEW.  It was right.  It just was.  Crazy, yes.  But totally right.  So we jumped in.  And for the next 2 years we forged a relationship via a constant stream of emails, planned phone calls (we were 8 hours apart and paid about $0.42 per minute) and brief visits (twice with him returning home over Christmas and once with me visiting him in Bulgaria).

And in December of 1999 we were separated no longer.  All the months of speaking only once a week for 20 minutes at a time, all the hours spent on the computer typing letters and one-sided conversations, all the lonely nights wishing my boyfriend were with me, it was all worth it.

Hubs and I on our honeymoon.  Separated no longer.

It may have taken us a bit to get the timing right, but the third time was definitely the charm.

This post is linked up with A Sorta Fairytale's You And Your Valentine Party!  

Love Is Many Things

Love is loyal

Love is trust

Love is faith

Love is without limit

Love is renewing

Love is immeasurable

Love is...

wrapped up in the first moment my two loves meet.

this post is linked up with the lovely Jhen

This Isn't FUN Anymore

Hubs and I enjoying an evening at the coffee shop we went to on our first date, 13 years ago

Recently I've started hosting a small group of women in my home one morning a week.  We come from all walks of life and backgrounds.  Some have been married less than a year, others are nearing their 30th anniversary.  Some are in the throes of child-rearing, others are staring at their empty nest and wondering what to do now.  We meet to eat (of course), chat (of course) and to read God's Word and challenge each other to continue to grow and learn.

Yesterday we changed it up a bit.  With Valentine's Day fast approaching, we chose to read a chapter from the book, 'A Wife After God's Own Heart' by Elizabeth George.  I've read this book before in Bible study settings, and I have to be honest, I struggle with alot of what she talks about.  She addresses many of the issues that arise in a marriage, and many of her suggestions feel counter-cultural to our norm.  I may struggle with her thoughts, but then again, our culture is boasting a 50% divorce rate, so maybe she's on to something...

Anyway, I digress.  Back to yesterday.  We read a chapter titled Making Time For Fun.  Yeah, I know.  What's fun, right?  When I was skimming through the book trying to decide what chapter to discuss I knew we had to do this one.  Because it's right where hubs and I are at right now.

That's probably not a huge shock.  I mean, we've got four kids.  A mortgage.  A job.  Debt.  Just... reality.  And there's nothing like a little reality to suck the fun out of anything, right?

The book encouraged us to think back to the early days of courtship, to remember the hours spent talking about nothing in particular, remember the feeling of never wanting to be apart, remember the fun that happened when there were no responsibilities, no realities pulling in different directions, nothing but the endless expanse of hope and love and romance.

Sigh.  Oh to have that back again.

So how do you reclaim that?  Whether you've been married 5 years or 50, chances are reality has sucked the fun out of your marriage at one point or another.  How do you stop that vacuum?  Here are a few suggestions made in the book and some that came up in our discussion yesterday:

1.  Plan one fun activity a week  This is a hard one, especially when you have little kids and an even littler budget.  At first glance I tend to think, "yeah, this isn't going to happen".  But as a lady in my home pointed out yesterday, it can happen with just a little forethought and planning.  One of my big downfalls is that I like hubs to dream up the "fun" thing we're going to do.  For some reason it means more to me if I don't have to tell him what I'd like to do.  Maybe it's a throw-back to the dating relationship when the guy always planned the date, I don't know.  Whatever the case, it's a pitfall for us because honestly hubs just doesn't have time to think up elaborate date nights anymore.  It doesn't mean he doesn't love me, it just means he's busy.  But sometimes even knowing that I can get resentful.  So here's the solution that I can't wait to try:  Create a date jar.  Every month sit down together and decide on a few activities that you would both enjoy and that your budget would allow.  Write each down on a piece of paper and put the papers in the jar.  Then, on your designated "date night", draw a date out of the jar and let serendipity decide.  I love this idea because the pressure is off to come up with something fun to do, and there's still an element of surprise.

2.  Choose a couple hobby  I think so often we focus on our own hobbies, things that allow us to escape from our realities.  But all too often our hobbies don't include each other.  Think back to when you were dating.  Tell me you didn't feign interest at some point in something your hubs (or wife) to be was interested in.  Well, stop pretending!  Taking an interest in something your spouse enjoys opens up a whole new world of conversations and common ground.  Or, if there's really nothing your spouse enjoys that you can get on board with, find a new hobby together.  It doesn't have to be anything major.    For example, hubs and I have recently discovered that we enjoy reading the same book at the same time.  We read the Twilight series together and I was amazed at the amount of new and fresh conversation that was born out of that.  And the deeper the book, the deeper the conversation.  It's a great way to learn new things about each other and to find things to talk about that don't include the words "kids", "diaper" and "poop".

3.  Cook together  I know this is not always an option.  With hubs' work schedule we are often not together at mealtime.  But when we are able to intersect, cooking together brings a surprising amount of intimacy.  Whoever said sex starts in the kitchen was not lying!  Now before you head to the gutter, just think about it.  Cooking requires a certain amount of timing and efficiency.  When you cook together, you have to communicate, you have to work together.  You have to be in sync.  That is intimacy.  And that leads to intimacy elsewhere.  Plus, if hubs burns the veggies you've got something to tease him about later.  You can even extend this intimacy to dishwashing.  Our dishwasher recently decided to stop cleaning dishes, so we've been washing alot of dishes by hand.  I've actually come to look forward to those times with hubs, washing and drying and talking.  Sometimes I think a potentially aggravating situation (ie, a dishwasher breaking) can create moments to connect on a whole new level.

4.  Don't wait until "date night" to connect  This was really profound for me.  In discussing this chapter with the women in my home, one woman who has been married nearly 30 years brought up this point.  And in thinking about it I realized how important it is.  We hear so much about taking time for your spouse, scheduling date nights and the importance of them.  But if you're not connecting on a daily basis, then once date night rolls around you are going to have nothing to talk about.  One lady in my group spoke of how she and her husband have a table that they meet at every morning and every evening.  They share coffee, read their Bibles, pray and discuss their days.  They begin and end every single day at that table.  Obviously, in the real world you can't spend every waking second with your spouse like you did when you were dating.  But I love this example of beginning and ending the day together.  What a awesome way to stay connected and involved in one another's lives.  I can't wait to try this in my own marriage.

So there you go.  Reclaim that fun, recapture that romance, reignite that passion!

My friends, are you fighting the fun vacuum?  Do you have ideas for finding fun again?  What do you do to keep things fresh?

On The Subject of Facial Hair

I have to come clean.

Thus far I have painted a beautiful picture of a perfect marriage between hubs and I.  And truly, we rock at this being married thing.  We're good for each other.

But.

We have one point of contention.  Well, maybe more, but one I'm going to address today (this isn't Dr. Phil afterall!).

Facial hair.

NOT mine.  (really now?)

His.

I'm kinda not sure about facial hair.  I like goatees ok and soul patches aren't too bad.  Mustaches need to disappear off the face of the planet (sorry Tom Selleck, doesn't do anything for me).  And I've got this thing about beards.  As in, I'm not a big fan.  At least not on my husband.  I'm sure this aversion to a beard on hubs originated from the fact that my dad has a beard.  In fact, I've never known him without one.  He has NEVER shaved it off in my entire 33 years of life.

Clearly (and rightfully so in my opinion), beards are VERY paternal for me.

You can see how this would cause issues with hubs' beard.

When the hubs and I met, the first time (or actually second time... long story - I do need to share that at some point), he had long Jesus hair (no joke) and I think no facial hair.  I say I think because honestly I didn't really give him a second glance.

The second (third) time we met he was still clean shaven, but his hair was clean cut too.  Apparently this worked for me because we became inseparable then.

Little did I know that his prior little stint with growing out Jesus hair was a clue to his fickleness when it comes to hair.

Fast forward 11 years and the hair on his head has gotten thinner and thinner to the point where it's just better to shave it all off.  Trust me, this is a much better look.

Once we got the issue of the receding hairline addressed, I thought that would be it for hair conversations.

I was wrong.

The beard has begin making it's appearance more and more over the last few years.  Hubs claims laziness, boredom, and desire to totally aggravate me as the top reasons for the growth.  I think he enjoys taunting me with this way too much.  And I'm not talking a little baby beard here either.  Hubs is the kind that has a 5 o clock shadow by noon.  When he jokes about growing a Santa beard, he really could do it.  This my friends, is scary.

Hubs with a recently trimmed beard.  Imagine about 2 months worth of growth and that's what I'm looking at now.  Sigh.

I thought I had won a battle recently when I asked him when the beard was going to go away.  He replied that he was going to shave it off very soon.

Yes!

Then he smirked at me in a way where I knew he about to show his full hand.

What?  I asked.

"I think I'm going to wear a mustache"

Lord help me.

To My Hubby:

Thank you for being the leader of our home.

Thank you for working so hard for us.

Thank you for sacrificing your own desires in order to meet the needs of our family first.

Thank you for being a man of God.

Thank you for modeling that relationship for our children.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for showing our girls what a loving husband is supposed to be.

Thank you for bringing fun and laughter into our home.

Thank you for going far beyond any of my hopes and expectations and embracing the role God has called you to in our family.  It takes a very special man to lead the Planet Pink.  And you do with it confidence, strength and compassion.  I couldn't have asked for a better partner on this journey.

Happy Father's Day

Princess #1

Princess #2

Princess #3

Princess #4

Business Time

I've got a ridiculous amount of old college T-shirts.  4 years of collecting a shirt to commemorate every possible event, moment and sneeze.  10+ years later and I'm just breaking them in.  The soft, worn cotton that's just starting to feel smooth like velvet thanks to the numerous spins through the washing machine... perfection.

They are threadbare enough I no longer wear them out and about (not to mention the fact that late 90's T-shirts are just not a good look.  Maybe in about 20 more years when the boxy look comes back around.).  Gradually over time they have been delegated to my pajama drawer where a mysterious and unconscious event has occurred:  they began taking over.  At first it was subtle, a T-shirt or two here or there, stuffed among lingerie, nighties and other various "early marriage" sleepwear.  Eventually though, the T-shirts began to overflow out of the drawer, and into a second, accompanied now not by lingerie but by flannel pajama pants.  I thought the shift was gradual enough that he wouldn't notice...

Notsomuch.  The threats have been subtle and not so subtle, ranging from "Nice T-shirt" to "One day I'm just going to throw all those shirts away."  Today, I discovered something fishy.  One of my favorite T-shirts, wadded up and in the bag we keep in the garage for dirty diapers.  ??????  Suspicious, no?  I went to my pajama drawer.  I THOUGHT I had been short on shirts this past week, and had just attributed it to the pile of laundry (both dirty and clean) that was waiting to be dealt with.  But now I wonder.... Hubby is pleading the 5th.  Methinks someone is making good on a threat...

On a completely NON related note (or not?!?  ha!), if you've never seen Flight of the Conchords perform 'Business Time', you must watch it now.  Here.  Now.  Prepare to laugh.  And don't act like it's not a little bit true.  Cuz you know it is.  Sometimes.  For SOME people.  OTHER people...  *wink wink*

*not for little eyes or ears please!  This one makes me blush*

Gratitude

Broken TV + Summer = loss of last shred of sanity and the arrival of men in white coats for mama.

BUT, add in a stroke of genius by hubby and you get:

Two hours of uninterrupted peace and quiet due to the complete novelty and brilliance of a portable DVD player attached to the underside of a bunk bed.

I love that man.

Fun in the Sun

My dear friend and fellow blogger, Beth, left today for a 2 week long vacation to Hawaii to celebrate her 10th wedding anniversary.  To say I'm jealous would be an understatement.  Besides a small weekend trip to Wichita, KS, USA on our first wedding anniversary (to a lovely B&B I might add that was nicely appointed and even came with a private hot tub, which was and continues to be the topic of many interesting memories... if you've never tried to go hot tubbing outside, in the snow, a week before Christmas, you should try it), my doting hubby and I have never truly "gotten away".  For many reasons, namely, 3.  There just never seems to be a good time.  I've had a nursling attached to me for the better part of the last 5 years.  Jobs are stingy with vacation time and the majority of it has to be reserved for the obligatory trips to see family over holidays.  Kids get sick or get over involved in activites and school.  Church events take up spare weekends.  Money never seems to stretch far enough to make it through the month without being tight, let alone socking away anything extra.  And so on and so forth.

And so that brings me to now.  We are a mere 1 year and 9 months away from celebrating our own 10th anniversary.  In a word (or two), this is daunting and amazing.  I know I've carried on before about how quickly time flies.  You see it in kids most easily.  But lately I've been reflecting back on my relationship with my husband, and to see how we've grown and changed and loved over the last 8.25 years is amazing.  In some areas I feel like I've been sucessful in being a loving and doting wife, and in other areas I've failed miserably.  I've been making an effort recently to not overlook the little things, the things that make our day-to-day life pleasant, easy, wonderful.  The things that are easy to forget in the grand scheme of things, but impossible to live without in the small, daily existence.  

Whether or not we are able to get away for some fun in the sun in another year or so, doesn't really matter I suppose.  Don't get me wrong, we NEED those times away.  And now that our child-bearing and infant caring days are coming to a close, we will hopefully be able to carve out more time for US.  But even if we don't, I know that ultimately it's what I do on a day to day basis that is going to make the difference in our marriage.  And while a lovely vacation can do wonders to restore the soul and rest the mind, it's not essential to a happy relationship.

I know that I'll still feel that stab of envy when I look at Beth's pictures of long sandy beaches, extravagant dinners and lazy relaxing.  And that's ok too.  I hope she's enjoying herself... and her husband.  They deserve it.  :)

The Stars Have Aligned

My dear hubby and I are planning on a semi getaway this week.  I say semi because part of the time we will be with my parents and part of the time we will be leaving the two older princesses at my parents and going 4 hours away for 2 nights with princess #3 in tow.  So, not a true getaway, but hey, I'll take what I can get!

Anyway, in preparation for the week long vacation from work, hubby has been putting in long days, working 6 days straight.  While he comes home exhausted, I'm about to pull my hair out!  There's something maddening about not having a day off, God created weekends for a reason!  

My only saving grace has been this: miraculously the past 4 days IN A ROW I've been able to get all 3 princesses to take a nap, AT THE SAME TIME!!  For two blissful hours I'm left to my own peace and quiet with the freedom to do whatever I please.  Not only am I able to fill the time with mindless activities, but I'm even able to squeeze in a little housework and meal preparation that makes me look like the most awesome housewife ever.  I am at this very moment loving life.  Naptime - it does a mama good!

My soulmate on the Planet

8 years ago today I embarked on a journey with my soulmate that's held many twists and turns, ups and downs.  He's really the only person in the world I know that would be willing to live with me, Your Majesty.  And he's dang awesome at living on the Planet Pink.  Not too many guys would be.  It doesn't bother him in the least that we have more red/pink laundry than all the other colors and whites combined.  It doesn't bother him that My Little Pony and Barbie often end up under foot, especially when walking barefoot through the house (a practice I would NOT recommend!).  It doesn't bother him that around here Star Wars is deemed "SCARY!" and the only Princess approved programs on a family movie night usually include sappy love songs and "true love" (sigh).  It doesn't bother him that he is often called upon to play the role of the 4th Princess and tap into his feminine side.  He does it all with gusto and enthusiasm, the way a dad on Planet Pink should.

Of course he's doing all he can to infuse a little blue here and there.  We have a computer and keyboard as permanent fixtures in my bedroom.  Not exactly the "retreat" environment I was going for, but you know.  We have an XBOX where he can work out aggression on Halo or 007 or whatever else the heck he plays.  I let him stay up late to watch his "SCARY" movies while I get some much needed sleep.  I figure all of that is such a small price to pay for having the Greatest Guy On The Planet.

The thing I love the most is that he's teaching the 3 Princesses such an incredible lesson.  What a man should be.  What a man should do.  How a man can love.  What an important lesson in this day and age.  I can only hope and pray that someday the 3 Princesses grow up to find a Prince like mine.

Happy Anniversary love.  

PS:  Despite Princess #2's declaration of undying love for her diapers, my soulmate got her to do the impossible today!   Pee pee in the potty x4!!  I told ya he's the man!