Hi

Hey yeah, it's me.

Slacker.

Overworked.

Underpaid.

Exhausted.

Stressed.

Because of that, I've been focusing on living life, rather than writing about it.  Forgive me for my absence.

I'm finding that everything I thought was hard about having toddlers is magnified when your toddlers turn into pre-pre teens.

lazy morning with Princess #1

Intentional parenting has a WHOLE new meaning.  And it's down right exhausting.  Worth it, but exhausting.

So the little 'ole blog gets set aside when other things take precedence.  I'll always come back.  I promise.

Maybe She's Born With It

Does Sephora sell Fotoshop by Adobé??  I have a gift card...

On Things Which Make Me Smile (Or Give Me A Panic Attack)

I'm sorry I've been so hit and miss lately.

The weather around here has been ridiculous.  Like, as in this leap year we just leapt straight from December to April.  It's been GORGEOUS.  Freaking gorgeous.

So it's been impossible to hole up in the house with the sun shining in through the open windows.  We've been out bike riding, playing at the park, etc.

In JANUARY.

I still can't get over it.

Old man winter tried to pull a fast one on us last night, but the measly dusting was no match for our 70 degree warmed earth.  Snow just the way I like it.  Melted.

ANYWAY.

So this little gal right here, she's going to be three in a month.  Three!

Where the heck did the time go?  You know that saying, "the years are short but the days are long"?  Oh yeah, that's been us the last 3 years.  She is something else, my baby.  I'm happy to say that although she's a handful, I've gotten a pretty good grasp on how to deal with her.  At least for now.  Until she changes the rules.  Again.

With all the gorgeous weather and a birthday coming fast upon us, I'm in super organization/clean up mode.  I want to just throw everything out and start over.  That's my idea of organization.  Unfortunately, hubs might not appreciate me tossing out perfectly good apparel and/or books he's had since college, so I've got to find a way to reign it all in.  I can't even go to organization blogs because the perfectness of them gives me a panic attack.  It doesn't seem right to have to go out and BUY stuff to put my already-taking-up-too-much-room STUFF in.  I look at the photos of neatly organized pantries with their whole, organic grains and snacks in gleaming matching containers color coded with adorable homemade tags.  Hyperventilation city.  Right now I'm just happy I can close the door.

Pinterest has ruined me on ever thinking I might have obtained perfection in ANY area of my life.

Sigh.

I do, however, have one particular room that I am pretty darn proud of.  It's been a work in progress for about 6 months and I finally, FINALLY got pictures of it.  That's right - if you'll remember - The Great Room Switch, aka The Week That Might Have Killed Me (Or At Least Made Me Never Want To See A Paintbrush Again).

Last June, hubs took a week off work and we worked our rear ends off painting, rearranging, painting, organizing and painting some more in order to move all 4 princesses into the master bedroom.  It was a labor of love to be sure.  But I am so pleased with the results.  I don't know if it's Pinterest worthy, but for the amount of time, money and patience we had, it's definitely brag worthy.  I'd show ya the pics now, but um, I want you to come back.  So I'm shamelessly holding on to them for another day.

So mean, right?

Ok.  I'm off.  I've got exactly 45 minutes before all hell breaks loose the 4pm - 8pm madness ensues.  Just enough time to fold some clothes and empty the dishwasher.  Or catch up on one episode of Gossip Girl.  Your choice.

Talk soon my friends!

Just In Case You Were Considering It

If you ever find yourself tempted to buy a box of 142 small pieces of shaped foam,

don't.

It may seem like a good idea at the time.

but do not be fooled by it's cuteness, 

it's attention to detail, 

it's penguins.

There WILL be hell to pay.

6 + my you-know-what.

It's Midnight...

I apologize for the lack of posts.

I'm going through a phase where one of two (or several) things is happening:

A) I sit down to post and then remember I left my coffee in the microwave and en route to the kitchen I get commandeered by a bossy two year old who demands that I hold her while she watches Yo Gabba Gabba Family for the 10th time that day.

B) I sit down to post and any inspiration I had flies out of my head because a bossy two year old is dancing around my chair chanting "Hold you!  Hold you!  HOLD YOU!!!!!!!" and I just can't put two words together when I'm being yelled at.

C)  I sit down to post and... I got nothin.

To say this is a trying season in my life is really selling it short.  And I'm not under any illusion that I've got it worse than the next guy (or mom).  I know I'm blessed.  Happy, healthy, etc. etc.

But is it ok to still feel overwhelmed?

Because I do.

I suppose the whole Christmas season wouldn't be complete without at least one mini meltdown.  Which is sad, considering I'm pretty certain that Mary had things a whole heck of a lot worse (hello, unmarried, pregnant teen).  My drama is so minimal.  And yet, it feels so great sometimes.

So I'm going to just throw myself one teeny weeny little pity party, and then I'm going to move on.  Ok?

OK.

I do love these girls.  I want to do right by them so badly my heart hurts sometimes.

Sometimes The Heart Hurts

That's the tricky thing about hearts.  We could just lock them up, never to break, never to shatter, never to mourn.  But then we would never feel, never love, never live.

It's a dilemma.  A great risk we take every single day.

Sometimes, many times, it pays off.

But sometimes, the heart must endure the most unfathomable of pain, as a result of it's love.

This gorgeous, beautiful family is walking that road of sorrow this very day.  Today, they will say goodbye to their sweet 3 year old Marley, taken too soon by every parents' nightmare, brain cancer.  After a brave battle that began before she blew out two candles on her cake, Marley met Jesus on Tuesday.

As I write these words my stomach constricts and tears well up in my eyes.  For a mother, any mother, the pain is so palatable.  It does not matter if you've known them your whole life or only just looked upon Marley's face for the first time.  We all know what a risk it is to love.  We all know what is at stake.    As the quote says:

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

And yet, even in the face of such great risks, the reality that your heart may actually shatter into a million pieces, we still persist in love.  Because we know that locking the heart away, safe from pain, is not really living.  The beauty in loving is doing so in spite of the sorrow that may wait around the corner.

I know Nikki and Brent never dreamed that they would bury their child at the age of 3.  Please lift them up in your thoughts and prayers today.

That Makes Me Crazy

This past week has been crazy.

CRA-ZY.

And it's not over yet.

I like to think I can handle a little craziness.

But let's face it.  I'm not 20 anymore.  Crazy sort of makes me crazy these days.

Which isn't pretty.  Trust me.

My class begins on Monday.

MONDAY people.  AHHHHHHH!!!!

I have been feverishly researching, outlining, previewing videos, marketing.... oh, and being a mom.  Of course.

Don't let the cuteness fool you.  This may or may not be contributing to my crazy.

My brain hurts.  Literally.  I've had a headache the last two days.  And now my voice is threatening to go on strike.  Awesome.

I've been so busy with craziness that I haven't really been able to stop and appreciate the realization of a dream for me.  I hope at some point I'll be able to stop and really marvel at all I've accomplished.  Right now I'm just tunnel visioned on getting stuff done.

I'd appreciate your thoughts.  Right now I'm keeping anxiety over teaching at bay, mostly because I've got so much to do to get ready.  But in just a few short hours it will be just me, my students and my advisor - GAME ON.  I'm praying my passion comes through and I'm able to communicate and educate and most importantly, empower these women who cross my path in the next few weeks.

If you don't hear from my, my projector broke, my jokes fell flat, my students stared at me with blank faces  and I'm hiding under a rock.

Until then, happy weekend!

They Say It's Your Birthday

My birthday, actually.

Well, technically yesterday.  But I'm of the belief that birthdays should be celebrated for as long as possible.  Since yesterday was my actual birthday and hubs and I are going out on my birthday date tomorrow evening, I consider today a celebratory day by default.

The older you get, the harder it is to celebrate birthdays I think.  Not because I don't want to get older (it's debatable), but more just because there's life to do.  It doesn't stop for birthdays.  I've still got kids to cart to school, homework papers to check, lessons to get to, bills to pay, etc. etc.  So it's really meaningful to me with hubs and the kids go out of their way to make my day special, despite all the life we have to do.

So while hubs worked yesterday, I treated myself and the two younger princesses to lunch at Panera Bread.  It was nice to just hang with my babies and eat my fave broccoli cheddar soup on the first real coolish day of the season.

Then following school and piano lessons, I came home to dinner waiting, gorgeous flowers on the table and presents wrapped.

There was also this ridiculously amazing (AH - MAZING) chocolate mousse cake from Whole Foods.  Which sadly, I realize I did not get a picture of.  You're going to have to just trust me.  It was good.

The evening ended with a light knock at the door.  Once I had hubs answer it (it WAS after 9.  I'm a bit of a chicken), we discovered that someone (or someones) thought it would be fun to fork our yard.  I'm pretty sure I haven't had this happen since I was in highschool.  The glow sticks were a nice touch.  The girls thought it was the best birthday present EVER.

I don't think it was half bad either.

I think 34's going to be a pretty good year.

Not My Words, But So My Heart

Very, very rarely, I stumble across a blog post that is So Good I want to cry.

The link below will take you to such a post.

It is very long, but the last two paragraphs are worth the whole read.

It made me want to stand up and yell, "Yes!  Yes!  Yes!"

And I'm not even considering adoption.

But I'm a child of God, and I live in this community of Life that He created, perfectly.  And the call to be in community with one another is so strong in me, after reading this post I can't help but feel moved to action.

So go read this post, then come back and tell me what you think.  I can't wait to hear!

Jen Hatmaker: After The Airport

The author, Jen, with her husband and daughter Remy, coming down the airport escalator after picking Remy up from Ethiopia

Um...

So tonight I was perusing Facebook harmlessly (I know, NOT Pinterest!  Aren't you shocked?), just minding my own business, when I ran across a post from a college friend of mine that stopped me in my tracks.

Did you know it's been 15 years since I first set foot on my college campus as a Freshman, ready to take on the world?

(No, of course you didn't.  The point is, I didn't either)

FIFTEEN YEARS.

Gulp.

That makes me, like, old.

So, uh, when did this happen exactly?  And furthermore, are the next 15 years going to go by as quickly?

Because in another 15 years I will have an almost TWENTY-FOUR year old (omg!), a 21 year old, a 19 year old and probably only my baby at home with me, a mere 17 years old (sniff).

I seriously need to stop time.

Like, for reals.

(I keep thinking that if I talk like I did when I was in high school, then maybe somehow how I'm not as old.  Is it working?)

Friends, anyone been slapped in the face with reality lately?  I'm realizing my days of needing wrinkle cream are not that far off.  Maybe they've even already arrived and I'm late to the party.  Yikes!  By the way, I totally wanted to find a picture of myself in college, but they're all up in the attic (this was pre digital people.  Yes, I know.  That old.), and it's like, a thousand degrees up there.  Plus we don't have a scanner.  So there ya go.


OH!  I did just get a cute new haircut (chopped off TEN inches!!) and color.  

Maybe saying "like" all the time won't sound completely ridiculous now?  I'm bringing it back people!

(wow, this was (like) the longest PS/footnote thingy EVER)

Ugh, I Know

Here I am, not posting all summer long.

Then I come on with all these promises of goodness and cleverness and, um, frequency.


I pitch the awesome Inspired Reality idea (have you read about it yet?  No?  Go ahead, click the link, read all about it.  Then go to Pinterest and decide what you're going to try to turn into reality and blog about it.  But finish reading this post first, because once you go to Pinterest you'll forget to come back.).

And then I disappear again.

Life sure isn't convenient for a blogger (gosh darn those kids wanting to be fed and all).

So here I am, carving out a bit of time.  I do want you to note the time I found to carve is of the late night variety.  See, I'm making an effort.  I should be in bed.

But I'm not in bed yet, mainly, because I want to tell you that my awesome friend Jess is featuring me today on her uber cool blog Peanut and Pistachio in a post about stay at home mommies.

She asked me all sorts of serious questions and I had to give her these wise answers.  I know, you can laugh now.

ANYWAY, you should go check it out because this is about as close to famous as I'll get.  And you'll also get to learn some cool facts about me.  Like... what do I always keep in my freezer?

You know you want to find out.

PS.  I was totally going to post a pic of Jess and me, but the only one I had was a very unflattering one of us on a hot and sweaty July 4th.  I need to do better about getting pics of me and my friends!  Anyway, you're off the hook this time Jess!

My New Baby

Isn't she pretty?

And shiny?

And clean?

She is a bit loud...

but she was also cheap.  

I'll take what I can get.

She's saving me from this:

7 months of handwashing will make one a little crazy.

We don't need any help in that department.

So our new baby is a welcome addition.

We're looking forward to many long years together.

Many long *clean* years.

Sigh.

Mama's happy.

That's Classy

Hubby speaks in movie quotes.  This is something that is constantly the source of many an eye roll from him as I stare blankly at him and respond with a "huh?".  I'm sorry, I just don't set to memory entire scripts from movies to relay at a later date and appropriate time.

However, there are a couple movies that are just meant to be quoted.  One of our favorites is Notting Hill.  Not sure why exactly, but hubs and I have been known to bust out the "chicks dig gray" line more than a few times.  And who really can resist a scummy Irish dude anyway?  "

Another highly quotable movie in our book is My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  I won't bore you with regurgitating all the good ones as they're totally a "had to be there" sort of situation.  Just go watch the movie again.  You know you want to anyway.   However, there is one quote in particular that hubs and I refer to almost on a daily basis that I felt was worth sharing.

It's in the scene where the lead character's (Toula) cousin is unveiling the god-awful bridesmaids dresses she had made.  While Toula the bride is horrified, you can hear the oohing and ahhing of the other relatives as they admire the dress.  In the background Toula's sister exclaims, "That's CLAssy!" in a thick, whiny, Chicago accent.

Please don't ask me why this is hilarious.  It just is.  And SO fitting in nearly every situation in real life.

For example:

1.  Men spitting their, um, spit out the driver's window while waiting at a red light.  What is the deal?  Does the male species inexplicably create more saliva than the fairer sex?  Why is this considered an acceptable thing to do?  I do not care to see how far you can make your spit fly.  It's not impressive.

That's CLAssy!

2.  Faux balls hanging from the bumper on a pickup truck.  'Nuff said.

That's CLAssy!

3.  Women sporting tube tops with bras, the NON-strapless kind.  I don't care if the bra straps match the color of your top.  It is not a good look.  On anyone.  Ever.

That's CLAssy!

4.  Women walking around a store clearly wearing a bikini and a scanty coverup.  I know it's hot outside.  Seriously.  I'm melting too.  But I still managed to go out in public wearing a reasonable amount of clothing in non see-through material.  If you want to wear your bikini, move to the beach.

That's CLAssy!

5.  Daycare center named Kadazzle! (really?) across the street from the strip club.  OK, so maybe the strippers have kids.  I get it.  But still...

That's CLAssy!

Now that I've given you several examples of how to apply this quote in real life, you have a homework assignment.  Comment on this post with your own in real life application.  I'm anxious to see if you find it as highly fitting as hubs and I do!

Trying New Things

It's 10pm and I've decided to try some new things.  Yes I should be in bed.  Unfortunately my body hasn't figured out that going to bed earlier would make it easier to deal with my early bird in the morning.  Now that it's summer my kiddos are staying up later which mean that "me" time gets pushed later too.

Anywho, back to the new things.

So.  I've been struggling with my hair for awhile.  You might remember when I tried out the awesome updo by the lovely Jhen at From Here To Eternity.  It didn't go over so well with my peanut gallery.  I still do it some, but am always worried that I'm somehow crossing over that line the dangles between "messy chic" and "hot mess".

I'm kind of in love with the long waves that Taylor Swift made so popular.  Yes, I know.  She's half my age.  Still.   Me likey.  But I have no clue how to get my mane to look like that.

Until.

AHHHHHHH!  (Insert Hallelujah Chorus here)



Ah Pinterest.  How I love thee.

I immersed myself deeply in hair tutorials and stumbled upon this brilliance:



OK seriously?  How cute is this girl?  I was so not this cute when I was in highschool.

ANYWAY.  So, I'm trying this.  I'm taking hair advice from a girl closer in age to Princess #1 than to me.  I'm ok with that.  I'm armed with my bendy curler thingys (that's the official term) and my slightly damp hair.  I shall let you know how things go in the morning.  I'm not promising pictures.

Meanwhile, I'm also stuffing my face with this tonight:

Oh yes.  You know you want some.  This is more Pinterest brilliance.  You can find the original recipe here.

Now go and try something new.  And tell me about it!

I'm A Cheating Fool

I'm sorry dear bloggy friends.  I've been cheating on you.  Yes, you didn't think it was possible did you?  You could totally break out into Shania Twain right now because I deserve it.

But I'm not the least bit sorry.

You see, I've found a new love.  And you know what it's like with new loves.  They consume you.  They're all you think about.  You just can't get enough.  Day, night, it doesn't matter.

And so, it's not you.  It's me.  I'm in the throes of infatuation and it's taking me away from my blogging duties.  Maybe it's not right, but I can't help it.

You'd understand, if you also had recently just discovered the coolest website on the planet.  One that lets you organize all your scattered thoughts and ideas in one place.  One that lets you mooch brilliance off of perfect strangers out there in the interwebs.  One that allows you to redecorate your entire house, redo your entire wardrobe, cook better than Paula Deen and throw parties that would put Martha Stewart to shame - all without spending a dime.  Oh yes my friends, that is the awesomeness that is Pinterest.com

My bedroom is beautiful:

My wardrobe rocks:

My tummy is happy:

There is more, but I'll spare you lest you think I live in total virtual lala land now.  I do actually still do laundry and dishes and all that mundane stuff.  But it's alot more fun when I am thinking about my inspiration boards.  And it's also alot more fun with friends.  Are you on Pinterest?  If you are, tell me where to find you!  If you aren't, you know you want to be, so let me know and I'll shoot ya an invite.  But don't go hogging all the bandwidth ok?  Way too many "server is busy" messages today!

See, now don't you forgive me for cheating?

PS.  Oh look, you can follow me on Pinterest by clicking here!  Easy peasy!  

And Update and How You Can Help

With this horrific spring releasing Mother Nature's almighty fury on thousands of people, the needs are understandably great.  I don't know about you, but every time news of more tragedy reaches me, the pull and ache to just do something increases exponentially.

I wanted to let you know about one such opportunity that is near and dear to my heart.  I posted a few days ago about the tragic story of the Hamil family, who lost their 15 month old son Cole in the monster tornado that tore through Piedmont, OK on Tuesday evening.  At the time, their 5 year old daughter Kathleen and pregnant mother Catherine were hospitalized with serious injuries and their 3 year old son Ryan was missing.

On Thursday morning, Ryan's body was discovered in the lake that bordered the remains of the family's home.

I cannot even put into words how I feel.  Though I bear no connection to this family, my heart aches in a way only a mother's could I think.  Their loss is great.

I am not alone in those feelings.  And someone is doing something about it.

Catherine Hamil is due with her baby, a girl, in October.  Of course the family has lost everything and will be needing tremendous amount of time to just grieve the losses of their sons, let alone begin to think about rebuilding and preparing for a new child.

In an effort to ease the burden, a woman by the name of Toni Keltner has begun organizing a donation for the Hamil family called Shower of Hope - Oklahoma.   For the next 3-4 weeks, Shower of Hope - Oklahoma will be collecting baby items as well as items for the 5 year old Kathleen.  Already many well known companies have offered donations - Stokke, Baby Legs, Bobby, The First Years, and Born Free, just to name a few, as well as private donations.

If you would like to participate in this shower, please send your donations to the following address:

ERA John Hausam Realtors
c/o BJ - Shower Of Hope Oklahoma
2625 S. Elm Place
Broken Arrow, OK  74012

You can find out more specific information by going to Shower of Hope Oklahoma Facebook.

God Have Mercy

In a small bedroom community of Oklahoma City, a family is living out my worst nightmare.

On Tuesday evening, just 10 miles northwest of my parent's home, 3 small children were ripped from their mother's arms as she tried to shield them from the nearly mile wide wedge tornado that was plowing through their beautiful home.

The mother Catherine, pregnant with her 4th child, 5 year old daughter Kathleen and 15 month old son Cole were rescued and rushed to the hospital, critically injured.   In unspeakable tragedy, Cole later passed away from his injuries.

What is left of the Hamil home (Photo credit)

But if that devastation weren't enough, another son, 3 year old Ryan, was no where to be found.

He is still missing, over 24 hours later.

The father, Hank, who was out of town at the time the tornado hit, is joined by family, community and search and rescue teams, desperately seeking for the little boy.

Please pray.  Pray for a miracle beyond human comprehension for this sweet little boy.  Pray for peace as this family copes with grief beyond my imagination.  Pray for strength and encouragement for the rescue workers who are out there searching right now.  Pray for God to have mercy on this situation and reunite this family soon.

You can get more up to date information on the search efforts and offer your prayers on Facebook at Prayers for the Hamil Family - Find Ryan.

and hug your little ones a little tighter tonight.

The Ruby Anniversary

Today (well, today for 2 more hours... it's been a busy day!) my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

Two things come to mind when I think about this:

The first is, geez.  I'm old.  I remember their 25th anniversary like it was yesterday.  It was the day of my highschool graduation.  Sigh.

The second thought is, as AMAZING as 40 years of marriage is, I wonder if we consider it more amazing now than we did when, say, my grandparents celebrated their 40th.  With the divorce rate in our country skyrocketing, it makes sense that we've lowered the bar on what's considered an accomplishment in terms of years of marriage.

Don't get me wrong, 40 years is phenomenal.  But sadly I almost fear that couples who can say they're celebrating their 40th are becoming an anomaly.  And I wish that weren't true.  I'd almost rather it not be considered a great feat of... whatever (patience, endurance, will power, sheer dumb luck) to make it to 40 years of marriage.  Instead I'd rather our society saw that as, well, a no brainer.  Because you know, most couples do say until death do us part, at least at some point.  So shouldn't it be common to see couples celebrating 40, 50, 60 years of marriage?

Please know there is no judgment in my words.  Just sadness that the state of marriage in our country is not as stated above.  Because I do think it could be.  As happy as I know my parents are to be celebrating their big milestone anniversary today, I think if you were to ask them they would also acknowledge that there was no doubt this day would come, and it's just another day in the journey they've chosen to walk together.

My friends, I know this post is idealistic and probably a bit naive, but that's ok.  I grew up watching what a strong, healthy marriage is supposed to look like, so perhaps those ideals have rubbed off on me.  I'm so grateful they have.  Happy Anniversary mom and dad.

PS.  My mom is going to totally kill me for posting this pic, but how cute is she in her wedding dress?!  40 years later it still fits!