Monday, November 8, 2010

I Need A Me

The last couple of months I've been meeting with D, a friend of mine, for coffee on Wednesday mornings.

D just gave birth to her first little munchkin about 4 months ago (which I actually got to be present for - an AMAZING experience that deserves a post all it's own).  Anyway, like all babies, Miss O brought with her her own rules, so D and I have had plenty to talk about over the last few weeks.

As any woman who's had a baby knows, no topic is off limits once you've pushed a baby out of your hooha.  Modesty is checked at the door as soon as you're handed that paper gown and given a cup to pee in.  Likewise, we've covered every topic I think, from engorged boobs and green poop to projectile puke and nonstop screaming.

I realized over the weeks we've been meeting that I've got this baby thing down.  I've been round the barn 4 times now and very little phases me.  I've done it all or come pretty darn close.  Changed a poop so vile that the words to describe it should be censored?  Yep.  Strapped a screaming baby in the carseat and driving around the block knowing it is the one thing that will keep me from losing my cool?  Oh yeah.  Dug a booger the size of a marble out of my baby's nose while simultaneously catching puke with the other hand?  More times than I care to remember.  Lie wide awake all night, anxiously laying my hand across my baby's forehead?  Unfortunately yes.

Point is, I've been there, done that.  Deep in the trenches of early motherhood, I think (I hope!) I've been able to provide a bit of a lifeline for D.

It struck me the last time that D and I met during a conversation about teething coping strategies, that I need a me.  

I need someone I can call up and meet for coffee.  And sitting across the table over a steaming mug of joe pour out all my fears and insecurities and worries about my growing girls to someone else who's been there, done that.

Because while I might have the baby stage down, I feel very clueless and somewhat feverish about older kids.  I sorta joke about poor Princess #1 getting all my parenting mistakes, but part of me fears it's true too.  Surrounding myself with other women who have walked the road already and have emerged unscathed (or at least no worse for wear) is I think a key component to walking the road myself.

So, last week, I did just that.  I called up a friend who has sent two children off to college and has two more at home in middle school.  We sat and drank coffee and chatted about life and kids and everything. And it just felt good to be in the presence of a me.  To ask questions, get advice, laugh at myself over silly parenting faux pas I've made.  And it felt good.  I should have done it a long time ago.

My friends, do you have a me in your life?  Do you need one?  Find one!



  1. Judging from what I see at school every day, I'm afraid the answer is yes, more often than's depressing.

  2. I'm at the point where I especially enjoy mommy chats with moms who are in my shoes because then we are on a level playing field and our issues are the same and our worrys are the same. That seems to encourage me most over my coffee breaks but, I have my mama to talk to about other things which is wonderful! I could totally see why you would need that!!

  3. It helps, doesn't it? I have several. And my street is full of them. One interesting thing I've learned is that "11 is the new 13." I sure hope not.

  4. You are so right! I have several mom friends who have kids that are different ages, and I really enjoy talking to them!

  5. Oh Lordy I hope not!!!

  6. I do have a couple friends I can refer to when I need it, thank goodness! Sometimes we just need it!


  7. I love to hear this. I always wanted a sister. I hope my girls are that close someday.

  8. There are a few Moms that I feel so comfortable going to and saying, "What did you do when this happened?"

    I also have my sister, who is in the same stage of parenting that I am, but is still awesome at listening and hashing out anything I'm worried/stressed over. She is vital to my day to day happiness in so many ways...

  9. I have a couple of friends that have children a few years older than Kylie. It really helps being able to ask them about different stages. Sadly neither of them live close enough for us to get together.


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