Mom Mode

illustration by Kim Carney of Something

Oh, those are dirty words, aren't they?  Mom Mode.  They conjure up images of an overworked, sleep deprived, frazzled mess, who gives and gives and gives of herself until there is no more left.  And then she gives some more.  Mom Mode is powered by pure adrenaline, with maybe a little coffee thrown in for good measure and an extra kick.  Mom Mode has tunnel vision and yet serious multitasking capabilities, allowing one to simultaneously nurse a baby, prepare dinner, check homework and keep 2 kids from killing each other.

And at the end of the day, Mom Mode doesn't turn off.  Once children are in bed, Mom Mode switches to Housekeeper Mode and launches the sleep deprived into a cleaning frenzy, eager to eek out a few hours of a clean house before the tornado tears through it again.  Too bad most of those hours are spent asleep.

At some point I want to turn the whole thing off!  Ever wonder if there's a Me Mode hidden somewhere in there?  I'm sure the hubs would love for me to switch to Wife Mode more often than I do.  Or even better than that, how about The Girl I Married Mode?

It's so easy for Mom Mode to take over.  And it should, right?  I mean, this is the season: to be needed 24/7.  This is what I signed up for.  That's why that switch is perpetually on.  And yet, there should still be balance.  Because Mom Mode won't last forever.  And then what?  If I haven't been greasing those other switches, they'll be all rusty and won't work when I want them to.

I've tried experimenting with having a couple of switches on at the same time.  And you know what?  It's doable.  Mom Mode dominates of course, but if you flip some of those other switches on too, it's possible they can work together.  I know that me in Mom Mode is a MUCH happier mama when I've allowed myself some time in Me Mode.  And the princesses get all giggly when they see me in the Girl I Married Mode.  It's good for them to see their mommy and daddy flirt.

What I'm discovering is that Mom Mode is not meant to be run on it's own.  On it's own it will wear down quickly.  Exhausted.  Defeated.  Overpowered.  It needs support.  Mom Mode runs most efficiently when Me Mode is fully engaged, when Wife Mode is on and when The Girl I Married is flirting with daddy.  It's a challenge to remember to keep flipping these switches, because Mom Mode has a tendency to take over and crowd out the rest.  But I'm working on it.  Don't want anything to rust.

My friends, have any switches you've been forgetting to turn on?  Has Mom Mode taken over?  Or are you efficiently running on all systems?  How have you found your balance?