I Need A Me

The last couple of months I've been meeting with D, a friend of mine, for coffee on Wednesday mornings.

D just gave birth to her first little munchkin about 4 months ago (which I actually got to be present for - an AMAZING experience that deserves a post all it's own).  Anyway, like all babies, Miss O brought with her her own rules, so D and I have had plenty to talk about over the last few weeks.

As any woman who's had a baby knows, no topic is off limits once you've pushed a baby out of your hooha.  Modesty is checked at the door as soon as you're handed that paper gown and given a cup to pee in.  Likewise, we've covered every topic I think, from engorged boobs and green poop to projectile puke and nonstop screaming.

I realized over the weeks we've been meeting that I've got this baby thing down.  I've been round the barn 4 times now and very little phases me.  I've done it all or come pretty darn close.  Changed a poop so vile that the words to describe it should be censored?  Yep.  Strapped a screaming baby in the carseat and driving around the block knowing it is the one thing that will keep me from losing my cool?  Oh yeah.  Dug a booger the size of a marble out of my baby's nose while simultaneously catching puke with the other hand?  More times than I care to remember.  Lie wide awake all night, anxiously laying my hand across my baby's forehead?  Unfortunately yes.

Point is, I've been there, done that.  Deep in the trenches of early motherhood, I think (I hope!) I've been able to provide a bit of a lifeline for D.

It struck me the last time that D and I met during a conversation about teething coping strategies, that I need a me.  


I need someone I can call up and meet for coffee.  And sitting across the table over a steaming mug of joe pour out all my fears and insecurities and worries about my growing girls to someone else who's been there, done that.

Because while I might have the baby stage down, I feel very clueless and somewhat feverish about older kids.  I sorta joke about poor Princess #1 getting all my parenting mistakes, but part of me fears it's true too.  Surrounding myself with other women who have walked the road already and have emerged unscathed (or at least no worse for wear) is I think a key component to walking the road myself.

So, last week, I did just that.  I called up a friend who has sent two children off to college and has two more at home in middle school.  We sat and drank coffee and chatted about life and kids and everything. And it just felt good to be in the presence of a me.  To ask questions, get advice, laugh at myself over silly parenting faux pas I've made.  And it felt good.  I should have done it a long time ago.

My friends, do you have a me in your life?  Do you need one?  Find one!