It's always a jolt to see your children interact with the world outside of the safe little haven you've created. As parents, we so carefully craft a safe environment, full of love, of lessons, activities and security. We surround our children with the tools they need to exist out in the world, and endeavor to make them well-rounded individuals, but the reality often remains that for the first several years of their lives, we do so within the context of our own 4 walls.
I want my little girls to stay little girls for as long as possible. There is plenty of time for makeup and (God help me) boys. I don't care if my princesses are up (down?) with the latest teeny bopper singing sensation. I love that they still want to wear dresses to school sometimes. I'm comfortable with drawing out childhood for as long as they'll let me. The innocence, the naivety, oh, it just can't be reclaimed once it's gone.
The true test comes sometime among the early elementary years, when their 4 walls open up to a big wide world that's beyond our control. I'll be honest - it's freaking me out. Everything within me wants to pull those 4 walls back upright into the nice, neat, controllable square I'm comfortable with. But I can't. I know I can't.
So where does that leave me? Knowing I have to let the walls open up, but not wanting them to open too quickly. Knowing my girls need experiences (some that might hurt a little bit), but not wanting them to experience too much too soon. Knowing that they have to stretch their little wings to learn to fly, but not wanting them to fly too far.
I don't know. I'm just not ready.
The true test comes sometime among the early elementary years, when their 4 walls open up to a big wide world that's beyond our control. I'll be honest - it's freaking me out. Everything within me wants to pull those 4 walls back upright into the nice, neat, controllable square I'm comfortable with. But I can't. I know I can't.
So where does that leave me? Knowing I have to let the walls open up, but not wanting them to open too quickly. Knowing my girls need experiences (some that might hurt a little bit), but not wanting them to experience too much too soon. Knowing that they have to stretch their little wings to learn to fly, but not wanting them to fly too far.
I don't know. I'm just not ready.
Oh wow, it is sooooo hard to open up that world. That is the main reason I became a teacher. I was a sahm for years and loved every moment. As a teacher in my kids' school system I can stay connected. It is possible to keep your kids family centered and that is the key. Once a child becomes peer centered it is so hard to fight the negative impacts of society.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard! We do the best we can.
ReplyDeleteI love that picture!!! ANd, I can totally relate to everything you have just said. I'm not ready either and I have only one child who isn't even one yet;0. I'm just realizing how quickly it goes!
ReplyDeletewe made it! and i wanted to visit your blog and check out your new design. looks great!!! i'm sorry that you're snowed in... but at least you get tv. we had no tv for SIX DAYS. i was starting to have ellen/oprah/news withdrawals big time. :) and this post... *sigh* i just can't imagine being mom to four girls. they are precious... and i hope they DO stay innocent as long as possible. nothing wrong with wanting that for them!! lovely--no, gorgeous--photo of them by the way. xxo stay warm and hang in there.
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