Fun Or Excellence: Walking The Tightrope Of Kids Activities

Way back, when princess #1 was only 3 years old, we did what every family in America with a little girl does: enroll her in ballet.

Who can resist teeny tiny ballet slippers and tutu's and dreams of toe shoes and applause?

Princess #1, age 3 in her first ballet class

I sure can't.

I always, always wanted to take ballet as a child.  I was never able to, so for me it was a no-brainer which activity to begin with my oldest.

Fortunately for us, almost 7 years later, she's quite good at it.

I'm finding we're coming up to a cross roads, however, and it's giving me much to think about.  I would love some feedback on my dilemma:

When first choosing a dance school, our main priority for our 3 year old was that it be fun, age appropriate and not at all hardcore.  We certainly weren't looking for a stony faced Madame who beat the harlequin dance floor with a staff in time to the music while barking out "Plié! Relevé! Rond de jambe!" to a group of cowering, pink cheeked 3 year olds. 


That expectation of "fun" has served us well the last few years.  Princess #1 has come to love ballet, and enjoys expressing herself through dance.  There comes a point though, where "fun" just doesn't cut it anymore.  I mean, I suppose if you want to continue to pour money into an activity without any expectation of progress or perfection, then that's one thing.  But we don't have the money to do that.  In other words, I want something to show for it.  Does that make sense?

I am NOT a pushy stage mom, and I actually have no dreams of stardom or Hollywood when I think about my princesses.  In fact, I don't want fame for them at all.  But I do want progress.  I do hope that the time and dedication put into this opens doors in the future.  I do desire for my girls to learn what hard work, discipline and devotion to an activity means, and how that can influence their approach to life in general.

Princess #2, age 3 in her first ballet class

Because of those things, I find myself wondering at what point do you stop looking for an activity to be fun, and start looking for it to push a little harder, demand a little more effort and require a little more dedication?  At what age are those things appropriate?

I think these questions apply to more than just dance, but any activity that a child/family chooses to pursue.  And I think that every family at some point has to ask themselves, "What are we wanting out of this?  Where do we want this to go?"  The dilemma, for myself anyway, I think lies in deciding when these questions become important.  We live in an era where child prodigies are created and groomed from an early age.  Where fame, a la Dance Moms, is easily within the grasp of anyone who is willing to pay the price.  I wonder, is there room for those of us who perhaps do not desire that sort of life, and yet still wish to pursue excellence with our children?

I feel like I'm all over the place with this, and I have more questions to ask about families who choose to pursue that excellence, but I'll save that for another post at another time.

My friends, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.  Walking the activities tightrope with your children can be a tricky journey.  


PS.  just as I hit publish on this post, I received an incredibly well thought out note on this very subject from a friend who is a collegiate theater teacher, who knows a thing or two about demanding excellence and at what point should that begin.  I hope to share her thoughts about this with you soon!