Every Child Deserves Celebration, Not Just The First

We've all heard the "rule".  You're not supposed to have a baby shower for any baby other than your first.  It's considered rude, or tacky, or something like that.

I've never really understood this rule because it assumes two things:

A) People don't want to give you a gift for your new baby if you've already had one.
and
B) It's impossible for people to celebrate the birth of your new child without giving gifts.

The problem I have with this that I personally cannot resist giving gifts to my friends when they have new babies, whether that baby is their first, sixth or twentieth.  I mean, who among you can walk by the infant clothing section in any store and not stop and look for just a second.  It's miniature clothing people!  Furthermore, to bring a child into the world is an incomparable honor, and to have the opportunity (gift or no gift) to share in that joy with the ones I love is a thrill.

But the biggest problem I have with the rule is that when spoken in casual conversation without clarifying or putting into context, it flippantly makes the insinuation that the child-to-be is somehow not worth celebrating, because they're "just another one".

You can imagine that as mama to four girls, I ran into this quite a bit.  I suppose people are relaxing somewhat, much to Little Miss Etiquette's chagrin, because I did have showers for each of my girls.  But still, especially by my fourth I had a very hard time shaking the fear that people somehow felt that my Princess #4 deserved less of a celebration.

Pregnant mamas are already on an emotional roller coaster.  Not only is their body not their own, they are tired, bloated and constantly hungry.  They worry over things beyond their control, both concrete and abstract.  The health of the baby, the pain of delivery, how their first born will handle a new baby, how they will handle a new baby.  Will there be enough love to go around?

Ladies, if you have a friend who is pregnant with her second, sixth or twentieth baby, PLEASE do not add to her fears and let her wonder whether or not you feel her soon to be child is worth celebrating.

This is not necessarily a call to throw a full blown baby shower.  Celebrations do not have to be over the top.  Keep it simple, intimate and meaningful.  Here are a few ways that you can show love to your friends expecting another baby:

Host a Sip 'n See after the baby is born.  
Unlike the traditional shower that is held before the baby arrives, a Sip 'n See is perfect for the second baby because it is not held until the babe is in arms.  The main purpose is for friends and family to come and literally see the baby for the first time.  A coming out party if you will.  The host can serve beverages and light appetizers or finger foods, and no gifts are required.  It's just a chance for a community of friends to shower love on the newest member.

Collect donations for a money tree.  
Many times, when a family expands from 3 to 4 (or more), although many of the basics are already covered, there are some things they may find they need that they didn't when they only had one: like a double stroller for example.  Gear like that can be pricey, and sometimes rather than giving a 2nd time mom more onesies and blankets, a large cash sum or gift card might be more appreciated, so it can go towards what is really needed.  Taking donations from your circle of friends can be an easy way to show support, without having to go to the effort of organizing a big event.

Throw a diaper shower. 
This is always an appreciated favorite among moms.  With my first, I think I would have been a *teeny* bit disappointed if I only got diapers at my shower (yes, I know that's bratty.  haha), but when I had my third and my office surprised me with a diaper shower, I was overjoyed.  We didn't have to buy diapers for six months!  That's HUGE people!  A diaper shower can be a fun way to celebrate the birth of the baby, satisfy people's desire to bring a gift and yet still be practical and useful.   Just make sure you know whether or not mom is cloth diapering, so you can specify which sort of diaper to bring.

Organize meals.
By the time my fourth was born, this was my most appreciated gift.  Having hot, fresh meals provided to us for two weeks following her birth was a God send, especially since I was recovering from a difficult delivery.  Like the money tree, going this route does not require a big event, but does take some organization.  Luckily, there are websites to help with that.  CaringMeals.com allows you to coordinate and execute the delivery of meals to a postpartum family.

Most of us (especially mothers), I think, naturally believe that every child is worth celebrating.  But after the first, with busy lives of our own, I think it's sometimes easy to fall into the trap of taking another pregnancy in stride.  It's easy to fail to act.  We may have good intentions, but before you know it the baby is here and life goes on.  Be the friend that insists on showing it.  Take some initiative and shower love on babe and mama-to-be.  It will be much appreciated, I promise.

My dear friends, did you have anyone who took the time to shower love on your second, third, etc. baby?  What experiences have you had with baby showers?  Any other ideas for celebrating a birth?

What Would You Do?

At 8:45 pm on a Saturday evening, while putting away laundry, you hear some scuffling and voices outside.  You peek out your bedroom window (because hubs is working and you are a chicken) and you see 3 boys around the age of 10 dragging a huge box that probably was once home to a washing machine down the street.

15 minutes later, now 9:00 pm, you are just settling down on the couch to watch a little mindless TV when you hear some movement and whispers outside your front door.

Suddenly your doorbell rings.  Your dog starts freaking out.  You want to start freaking out.  You're a half scared, half pissed off because your kids have been asleep for an hour and now your dog won't shut up and some idiot has rung your doorbell at 9pm.

You look out the peep hole and what should you see but a huge box that probably was once home to a washing machine sitting on your front porch and it is suspiciously wiggly.

Do you:

A) Open the door as Cool Mom, knowing it's just 10 year old boys playing a prank.

B) Open the door as Mama Bear, knowing it's 9pm and 10 year old boys are playing a prank.

C) Ignore the box and go back to watching mindless TV, knowing it's 10 year old boys playing a prank.

I may or may not have gone for option B.  Ahem.


My dear friends, I've been feeling guilty all weekend for not being the "Cool Mom", but seriously?  9pm?  Not cool.  Anyway, would you do me a huge favor while you're here?  If you wouldn't mind popping over to Facebook by using that cute little Facebook button on the sidebar and "liking" my page, I would love ya to pieces.  If you're not aware, Google Friend Connect is disappearing for anyone not on Blogger very soon.  I use Blogger, but if you don't I'd hate to lose you!!  Facebook and Subscribing are great ways to not lose touch!  Thanks much!  Smooches!

When God Speaks, Listen

I wrote my last blog post about the 5 words that changed my life, and I didn't realize it at the time, but while I was typing what was on my heart, God was also preparing me to hear another word from Him.  Or rather, remind me.

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling a bit restless.  I had plenty of laundry to fold (thank you lice) and dishes to take care of, etc.  But I just didn't feel like doing any of it.  And as is the benefit of being your own boss, I decided to not do it.  I started to feel led to pick up my Bible and devotional book, My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  I'm embarrassed to say the last time I had bothered to open it.

A comment left on my last post led me to Matthew 6:33.  It's a familiar verse:

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

That's really what my last post was about, about seeking God, above anything else, even his will.

So I spent some time meditating on that scripture and the passages before it.  The famous "Do Not Worry" passages beginning in Matthew 6:25:

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear.  Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds.  They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them.  And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  And why worry about your clothing?  Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow.  They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?  So don't worry about these things, saying 'what will we eat?  What will we drink?  What will we wear?'  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

After some time in thought and prayer I turned to My Utmost, wondering what thoughts Mr. Chambers had for me that day.

It should come as no shock that the scripture that Chambers wrote about for January 27th was Matthew 6:25.  Further, the day before he wrote on Matthew 6:30.

God is so good and knows exactly what we need to hear when we need to hear it.

I've been through this book many many times, and in one of my passes through I underlined certain passages that stuck out to me.  This one particular paragraph, underlined years ago when I was just a college student,  jumped off the page at me like live wire:

"Consider the lilies of the field..." (6:28).  They grow where they are planted.  Many of us refuse to grow where God plants us.  Therefore, we don't take root anywhere.  Jesus said if we would obey the life of God within us, He would look after all other things.  Did Jesus Christ lie to us?  Are we experiencing the "much more" He promised?  If we are not, it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us and have cluttered our minds with confusing thoughts and worries.  How much time have we wasted asking God senseless questions while we should be absolutely free to concentrate on our service to Him?"

Ouch.

Senseless questions?  Uh yeah.  That would be me.  Right over here.

I believe that God is reminding me, sometimes daily, sometimes obviously, to grow where I am planted.  Not where I think I should be planted.  Not where I want to be planted.

Feeling the presence of Christ so near in that moment, I flipped through my journal, to the last thing I had written.  Another quote from Chambers, this time from August 10:

"God seems to plant His saints in the most useless places.  And then we say, 'God intends me to be here because I am so useful to Him.'  Yet Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of greatest use.  God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be."

Ok God.  I'm listening.

What If This Is It?

Way back, when hubs and I first got married (way, WAY back), we had really big plans.  What new couple doesn't, right?  We knew exactly where we were headed in the future, we felt God's calling on us and we were headed down that path, full steam ahead.  Confident in God's will and our willing hearts.

We knew God had called us to be missionaries, and we knew He was going to use us in a big way.


We did everything right:  schooling, experience, training.  All of it.  We had confirmation after confirmation of God's will in our lives.  We dotted all the i's and crossed every t.  It was only a matter of time.

And yet we found ourselves, 12 years later, a stay at home mom to four little girls and a retail manager.

Huh?

What happened?  Where did we go wrong?  Did we misunderstand God's will?


This was the question I asked over and over and over again for years.  As each door slammed in our faces and we slipped further still from our supposed "calling".  I harbored bitterness and anger.  Jealous of ones who fulfilled their dreams in front of our eyes, while we toiled away, in the in between time.  I felt abandoned, forgotten by God.  I struggled with the day to day reality of our life - each inconvenience created by hubs' decidedly secular job deepened the chasm that was growing between us.  I was being selfish, but I didn't see it that way.  I wanted what I wanted for our lives.  What I thought God wanted.


I was headed down a path of distrust and despair...


Until the day we received the biggest blow to our remaining thread of hope.  I love how God works that way.  Waiting until there is no hope, so that He can be our only hope.  Looking back on this moment, I know that if it had occurred at any other time, it would have been too easy to point to other things as the reason for my breakthrough.  My logic, or hubs' determination, or our sheer will to survive.  Anything could have claimed that glory.  But God waited to move until we had nothing left.  Because when there is no hope and yet you still have peace that passes understanding, you know where that came from.

It was that day, with wounds still fresh and stinging that God spoke to me clearly.


"What if this is it?"


What God?

"What if this is what I have planned for you?"


You mean this life?  The one we're currently slaves to?

"Yes.  What if this is it?  Could you be content in that?  In ME?"


But what about our calling?  We were so sure...

"Can you be content?"


But what about hubs?  He's worked so hard, poured years of his life into this calling...

"Will you be content?"


Will I be content?


Anyone CAN be content.  That's an ability each and every person on this earth possesses.  But, the choice, the WILL to be content, that's a different story.

I realized in that blinding moment that I was missing out on God's greatest gift in my life:  my life.

I had been so busy, certain of our path and frustrated at the detours, that I failed to see God's hand in the twisting road.  I was missing opportunities to fulfill God's calling in our life that very day, so determined to fit God into the little box I had created for our lives.  I was creating a pseudo-contentment in my life (and failing miserably), rather than turning to the One who could bring true, fulfilled contentment.

My life was changed in that instant.


When I was growing up, seeking God's will for your life was a hot topic.  Especially in college, when many life-altering decisions are made.  Should I date this guy? Is it God's will?  Should I go on this mission trip?  Is it God's will?  Should I change my major?  Is it God's will?


On the whole, I don't think it's a bad question to ask.  However, without realizing it, I allowed that question to be the Main Thing.  Searching for God's elusive will in my life.  And when hubs and I
"found it", because I had searched for it in that way, like it was a thing to be obtained, I mentally left very little wiggle room for God to do His work.

I had unknowingly reduced God to the size of what my mind could imagine.


In that moment when God broke through my smallness and showed me his immeasurable greatness, I realized that it's not really about seeking God's will for my life.  My life is about seeking God.  Because when I step outside of my little box, and allow his fullness to infiltrate every part of my being; when I draw close to him out of love and devotion and awe rather than what He's going to do for me; when I seek Him and leave the rest; that's where true contentment lies.  That's where I find the fulfillment of His will in my life.  That's when I become fully useable by Him.

I am still a stay at home mom to four little girls.  Hubs is still a retail manager.  And we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we are right where we need to be.  Because we are seeking Him, not "the call" we once felt was so important.  The rest will fall into place.  Maybe the way we once imagined.  But most likely not, because God has big plans.

What if this is it?

Bring it on.

Oh How Pinteresting!

We all know about my obsession with Pinterest.

So let's get down to business, shall we?

Here are some of the latests things I've pinned on my boards.  You can click the Pinterest banner to the right to see all the other goodies I've found.  I love followers and I love to follow back!  The more you're connected, the more deliciousness you will discover!

Mama Shall Have a Retreat

Everyone who loves builder grade mirrors, raise their hands!  Yeah... I thought so.  What a brilliant fix, right?  I LOVE the shelving in the middle.  And the moulding at the top is such a nice touch.

From hometalk.com

Mama Shall Have Style

I am forever on the search for great mother's jewelry.  I'm not a huge necklace person, I tend to gravitate towards bracelets instead, but this caught my eye.  I really like the inscribed message and the setting of the stones.

From etsy.com

Mama Shall Have Babies... Lots of Babies

I am loving these upcycled dressers!  I'm really regretting getting rid of our old one now.  What a perfect idea for hanging dress up clothes or doll clothes.  So easy too, even a non DIYer like myself could pull this off.  I like the IKEA mirror on the side too.

From 4.bp.blogspot.com

 Mama Shall Have Parties

With four girls, we have serious birthday planning to do through out the year.  I love how simple this decoration is.  And CHEAP!  Dollar store hula hoop and crepe paper and you're set!  This may or may not be making an appearance at shindig for a certain soon to be 3 year old very soon!

From housingaforest.com

Mama Shall Have Organization

Sigh.  Organization is a unicorn for me I think.  BUT, if it were to exist, it probably would in this form. I love how uniform and simple these canisters are.  MUCH better than my current system of clothes pinning shut the brown sugar bag and stuffing it between the peanut butter and a bag of rice.

From justpleasedaspunch.blogspot.com

Mama Shall Eat Well

For an avocado lover, these look divine.  Avocado and cream cheese wrapped in a puff pastry and baked?  Come to mama.

From loveveggiesandyoga.com

Mama Shall Celebrate

I'm loving all the inspiration (ha!) that Pinterest is providing for holidays.  How adorable are these little Valentine's?  I've already got the idea and supplies for our Valentine's this year (thank you Pinterest), but I'm definitely keeping these in mind for the future!

From thirtyhandmadedays.com

I'm linking up today with the Vintage Apple.  Come join in the fun!  Grab a button and link up!

Happy Pinteresting!!