It's always a jolt to see your children interact with the world outside of the safe little haven you've created. As parents, we so carefully craft a safe environment, full of love, of lessons, activities and security. We surround our children with the tools they need to exist out in the world, and endeavor to make them well-rounded individuals, but the reality often remains that for the first several years of their lives, we do so within the context of our own 4 walls.
I want my little girls to stay little girls for as long as possible. There is plenty of time for makeup and (God help me) boys. I don't care if my princesses are up (down?) with the latest teeny bopper singing sensation. I love that they still want to wear dresses to school sometimes. I'm comfortable with drawing out childhood for as long as they'll let me. The innocence, the naivety, oh, it just can't be reclaimed once it's gone.
The true test comes sometime among the early elementary years, when their 4 walls open up to a big wide world that's beyond our control. I'll be honest - it's freaking me out. Everything within me wants to pull those 4 walls back upright into the nice, neat,
controllable square I'm comfortable with. But I can't. I know I can't.
So where does that leave me? Knowing I have to let the walls open up, but not wanting them to open too quickly. Knowing my girls need experiences (some that might hurt a little bit), but not wanting them to experience too much too soon. Knowing that they have to stretch their little wings to learn to fly, but not wanting them to fly too far.
I don't know. I'm just not ready.