Monday, October 25, 2010

The Tightrope



Tightrope walkers are among my favorite acts at the circus.  I'm amazed at their focus and unwavering balance.  The acts they perform on the thin wire are mesmerizing and terrifying at the same time.  And they do it with such flair and drama.  They make it look so easy.

It's not as easy as it looks, walking that tightrope.  Particularly when that tightrope is called life.

Right now, I'm leaning hard to one side.  I keep putting one foot in front of the other, but some days it takes everything in me to do so.  I wobble.  And I get distracted.  I look to the past and yearn for the carefree PC (pre-children) days.  Then I look to the future and get lost in my hopes and dreams for my babies.

Everyday I'm performing my own amazing acts on my tightrope.  Yet so many days I feel like I'm doing it blindfolded.  And without a safety net.  And I get so caught up in just taking that next step that I fail to see the terrific show playing out all around me.

It's tiring.  I'm worn out.

I guess what I'm really seeking is balance.  I wouldn't give up my current life, obviously.  But I miss a bit of my former PC life.  And overall I don't want to miss the act happening right under my nose.

And I'm discovering that one has to be very deliberate about life when they're a parent.  You can't totally throw yourself into your children, completely disregarding yourself or you'll get burned out.  And you can't allow yourself to elevate your relationship with your children to the point of sacrificing relationships with all others (including the hubs) or you'll find yourself alone.    It's such a tricky line to walk.

I feel a bit off balance, waving my arms out in the air trying to regain steady footing.

So I guess the only thing to do is to keep my eyes straight ahead and put one foot in front of the other.  I'll find my balance again, eventually.

My friends, anyone ever feel out of balance?  Feel like you're desperately wobbling from one side to the other and trying to keep yourself on the rope?  

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6 comments:

  1. To answer your question, nearly everyday. I'm the typical if I focus on myself then my family suffers and the opposite. Right now I'm working on a project that about me and Love It! For me I find balance is more mental. If Im working on a project then my brain is more balanced and I'm a better mom and wife. thanks for stopping by!!! Hope your find your balance.

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  2. Great post. I feel you for sure. I have zero balance and it's starting to affect my health and my relationship... need to do some serious work to obtain balance again.

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  3. On my tightrope of life I definitely feel like I am wobbling from side to side trying to keep my bearings. Its definitely a journey trying to stay focused as a mom and wife of three princesses but its a life that I love.

    Great post!


    Blog
    http://www.peacefulislandmother.yolasite.com

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  4. I have definitely felt that way. My life was so out of balance a few months ago, but it's finally back where it should be!

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  5. First off. I so appreciate your honesty and open sharing. I feel like when I share openly on my blog at times that readers have been critical of me and see me as a pessimist instead of appreciating that I'm trying to share. It's hard for me to be transparent on my blog so I want to make sure to encourage transparency in others when I see it and read it!

    Secondly, holy cow am I ever in that mode right now. Bout to become a full time stay at home mom. We have no money but, we have to do this. I'm scared, excited, nervous, happy, overwhelmed, bummed to lose my job...etc. It's tough. I like working and having a small break from mommy stuff, but I also want to be there for my daughter and just can't afford to do both well anymore. I'm relying on photography as my me outlet once I'm a stay at home mom. I need something that can be mine or I'll go crazy!! What do you have to call your own in all the business? Anything that you cherish each day for you? YOu have four kiddos and that is a TON of work....my one wears me ragged. Praying for you fellow tigh rope walking friend!

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  6. Yes, it is so hard to find that balance! The past few weeks have been so trying for me I've actually fallen off the tightrope a few times.

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Let me know what you think!

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