Monday, January 3, 2011

I'm Just Gonna Put It Out There

I am glad my girls are back in school today.

It was time.  T.I.M.E.

You will not see me posting on Facebook, lamenting the end of a beautiful Christmas break, and wondering how on earth I'll manage the day without my princesses by my side.

I am not that kind of mom.

I think that's ok.

We need our space from each other.  The princesses seem to have this idea that I am their cruise director.  And they want guidance on what to do next every.waking.minute.

This does not put me in a good mood.

Nor does it put the princesses in a good mood.  'Cause when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

I don't think this makes me a bad mom.  I used to read those status updates on Facebook and wonder what was wrong with me.  Why do I more often look forward to the first day of school rather than bemoan the fact that limitless days with my children are at an end?

The answer is simple.  Because I'm me.

As long as I'm true to me, and work within the framework that makes up my personality and character, and accept my limitations and shortcomings, we are all happy.  Because I'm not trying to "fix" me, or trying to be something I'm not.  I'm just being me.  And that's exactly who I'm supposed to be, and that's the best kind of mom I can be for my kids.  It's what they need.

Will I miss the princesses today?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I know they are growing, they are learning, they are socializing.  And they are gaining insights into the world that I cannot offer them when they are constantly underfoot, whining about being bored and begging to do something "fun".

Yes, the space is a good thing for us.  It makes our time together much happier.  Today is a good day.

My friends, have you learned to accept the kind of mom (or parent) you are?  Do you wish you were different?  How do you strike a balance between growing as a parent and yet still coming to terms with certain personality limitations?

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5 comments:

  1. I don't like being the cruise director either... mine are 13, 8, 6, and 17 months, so it's SO HARD to entertain EVERYONE, ALL DAY! I don't think this makes me a bad mom.
    We go back to school tomorrow (the fifth) I've been counting down the days... Today was my birthday though, and I did enjoy the hang out in our pjs day we had today, playing video games and just having some fun.

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  2. Ohhh, this is a good question.

    Sometimes I accept the kind of mom I am. Sometimes I compare myself to others and feel as if I should take better pictures, journal, knit, only buy organic, voluteer at school. . .all the things I just don't do.

    But as for the school thing. Woo, hoo. The time has come!

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  3. first of all, happy new year! i hope you had an awesome christmas!!
    second of all, i've missed you!
    third of all, i think you're a great mom! personally i think i'm the schitzo type - bemoaning levi growing up too fast and wanting more time with him... while in the next breath wanting to shout from the rooftops that my dream day is one spent completely alone. :) oh, the paradox of my little mind.
    and fourthly, i gave you a shout out as one of my 2010 best bloggin buds. thought you might want to know... all the cool kids are there. BUT seriously, you are awesome and i'm genuinely glad to have become friends this year. love ya "queenie!" xx

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  4. My son was ready to go back to school last week, and was so happy to return today! Even though we had a great Christmas break, I'm okay with returning to our normal schedule! I can finally get stuff done!

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  5. I do not miss my kids when they're at school. I didn't cry when they started kindergarten. I HATE being a cruise director. And that's often what it feels like. But like you, I love may babies. And I know I'm not any less of a Mom because I don't stand outside the school and blubber.

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